(Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn

Yet another craning look up Sarah Palin’s (mini)skirt*….

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin, since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

Larry Flint is looking to tap (giggety) America’s indecent interest in the Repub VP Nom. Flint’s famously x-rated mind has hand-picked (giggety) a Palin look-a-like to star in his political project.

Flint better get this out out ASAP

Flint better get this sucker out out ASAP

      Larry Flint has fought hard for his rights and sacrificed hugely which has made him an unlikely American hero. Like it or leave it, Flint is definitely a freedom loving freedom fighting American. Maybe you wish he had less freedom but I hope not because that would make you less American than Mr. Flint.
      In College, when devouring Women’s Studies classes, I wrestled with my views on porn. I asked myself “Did I hate Larry Flint?” so I learned more about him. Eventually, as my freedom affords, I made up my own mind on the issue. Porn just isn’t my thing aesthetically. I like a few pounds and a few pubes on a woman and the men….well, a beautiful member doesn’t make for a beautiful man. Now a dirty cartoon complete with sound effects & ample bouncy booty, that’s more like it. I’m too playful and cerebral to enjoy mainstream porn. I’m more of a Tinto Brass kinda girl. (The bicycle scene in Frivolous Lola is some juicy delish!)
      Still I kinda love Larry Flint.
      I admire his voice if not his vision.
      I choose pervy Larry over the hatred that left him paralyzed. I’d rather spend a tropical vacation with Flint than with the a-hole who shot him. He’s more my kinda people. I’ll take a tenacious kinkster over a violent hater every damn time.
      As for the argument that porn is violence against women, I just refuse. I don’t think we should be making any excuses for violent offenders. Violence is a choice. When a rapist rapes, the only person who is robbed of choice is his victim. I don’t give a damn if my man subscribes to Playboy or if Flint publishes Hustler but rapists are scum whose issues run much deeper than their jack-stash. If you think I’m “part of the patriarchy” for having my own opinion then maybe you need a jack-stash of your own. I recommend Tinto Brass. (Especially if you’re an ass-man. Or booty-lady, either way, if you love the bum rent some Brass.)
No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

      As usual, Larry Flint has his finger on the pulse-pulse of America’s privates. We’re obviously quite titillated by this stranger they call Sarah Palin. In Chicago, a painter hung a nude portrait of Palin in a pub and folks flocked in for icy mugs of brewsky and a lil’ look-see. (I posted a piece about the artist Bruce Everett and his nudie gun-toting Palin yesterday and it beat out one on McCain’s desires to be a dictator. Scary.) So don’t blame Flint, blame yer grand-dad or your uncle or yourself. We’re Americans! We reserve the right to sexualize our VP nominees. (So far Margaret Cho’s done it best.)
      We do it because we don’t know what else to do with her. Sarah Palin is an unqualified nobody who stumbles over the simplest of policy questions. (As I write this, Katie Couric is on the CBS news saying “The polls show that Governor Palin is declining in her ability to understand complex issues.”)  Sarah Palin has nothing to say so our minds wander and our eyes stray… we wonder “Hmm, hows’zer rack?”  What else are we supposed to do with a dumb as rocks beauty queen turned PTA mom turned mayor of nowhere who wants to strip us of our rights?
      Palin wants to strip us of our rights, so we wanna strip Palin of her clothes.
She's perty...
      If the Repubs didn’t want us to objectify Sarah Palin they should’ve nominated someone who brought more than pretty to the podium. Alas. I blame that old horndog McCain. He started it! Someone brought him a stack of files and he picked the one with the hottest photo. It was an easy choice for the man with a lifesize Barbie. McCain’s Missus even moves like a Barbie doll. I suspect he used his military clearance to put a perfectly-coiffed plastic Barbie into a top-secret machine and then pressed the button that said “Big.”
      Fortunately for Flint, porn can be shot in an afternoon. It shouldn’t be too hard to hustle up some red stripper heels, a polar bear pelt, a loaded rifle and a moose who shits himself. Tell the “actress” to swing by Lenscrafters on her way.  It should be shot-shipped-&-edited by Friday.  Just in time for a Saturday’s bored & bothered self love session. Flint will act quick. He’ll have to. Palin’s 15 minutes are almost up. GULP. I hope.
      For the sake of alphabetfiend, I’ll watch it but I REFUSE to enjoy it. Sure, I’ll laugh my ass off but that’s ALL my ass is getting. Unless we pop in a little Tinto Brass afterwards, y’know, cause it’s Saturday and we’re bored. Here at the Dollhouse, we’re more psyched to see Homer vote for Obama.  The Simpsons’ episode won’t air until November 2 but the Palin porn may be at yer door this Saturday morn. Enjoy!
Palin was mentioned to capture the feminist vote but got the "giggety" vote instead.

Palin was meant to capture the feminist vote but got the "Giggety" vote

*Aside from the shoulders up b&w photo the rest of these Palin piks are obviously doctored; in fairness & feminism, check out the Palin Sexism Watch.
*As Katie Couric said on CBS news.

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

7 Responses to “(Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn”

  1. […] things her way « McCain Confesses to “Dictactor” Aspirations (w/video) (Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn […]

  2. […] my last post about the Palin porn, I confessed my cartoon kink. Dirty cartoons are some silly sexy.  Peggy’s perfect for […]

  3. […] I not?   The Pitbull’s gonna do it doggie-style, doggonnit!   I don’t know if this is Larry Flint’s Palin project cause his was supposed to be called “Nailin’ Palin.”   Arg, I’ve written […]

  4. […] Hill in Flint’s Palin Porn: hot XXX mess. (adult content) I told you that Larry Flint was making a Palin porn and then I told you that he’d pegged Peggy Hill to “play” Palin.  I thought for […]

  5. […] wonder Larry Flint cast Peggy as porn-star Palin in his latest political project Nailin Pailin!  And of course Cotton Hill starred as John McCain!  An obvious choice.  The things Hank saw […]

  6. Greets! Really amazing. keep working! Tnx! Saw!

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