Druggie Mummies

Our ancient ancestors liked to party. Fur reals.

Scientists have discovered drugs in the mummified remains of Andean fiends.

Doped up nere-do-wells!

The Mummies -- who are probably high on SOMETHING -- rock out.

Mommy always said those mummies were bad news!  

Discovery News reported on the hard-livin’ debauchery of the olden days.

Andean mummy hair has provided the first direct archaeological evidence of the consumption of hallucinogens in pre-Hispanic Andean populations, according to recent gas chromatography and mass spectrometry analysis. Chemical archaeologist Juan Pablo Ogalde and colleagues at the University of Tarapacá in Arica, Chile, analyzed 32 mummies from the Azapa Valley in northern Chile. Naturally mummified in the Acatama desert, the bodies belonged to the Tiwanaku, the ancestors of the Incas. The little known Tiwanaku established a civilization around 1200 B.C. that prevailed for almost three millennia, becoming one of history’s longest-running empires. At the peak of their power, between 700 and 1100 A.D., they dominated the Andes, controlling large areas of Bolivia and Peru and parts of Argentina and Chile. Their burials often contain elaborately decorated snuffing trays and panpipes.

Drug paraphernalia such as “ceramic snuffing tubes and inhaling bowls” had previously suggested mummy drug use. Those suspicions were verified when the chemical analysis of the mummies “revealed the presence of the hallucinogenic alkaloid harmine.”

“Our  identification of harmine in the hair of these two Azapa Valley mummies is a very important finding. The only plant in South America that contain harmine is the jungle vine Banisteriopsis caapi, also known as ayahuasca. But this plant does not grow in the Azapa valley,” Ogalde said.

The presence of harmine suggests the Tiwanaku travelled in search of exotic hallucinogens, and brought the Banisteriopsisvine from as far as the Amazon rainforest, some 300 miles away.

Who can blame them? I’ve been dying to try ayahuasca. I’d definitely go out of my way for a magic vine and the visions that come with. Hell yea! Take that all you people who are always jabbering on about the ills of modern society and drugs being the downfall of the human race. Sure, Coke-head Jimmy has a problem, I agree. Coke-head Jimmy’s fuckin’ it up for everyone! But humans have been getting high for like EVER.

If you run into a mummy this Halloween, ask him if he wants to smoke a bowl. SPOOKY KABUKI sez “Peace out.”

Ancient man with drug paraphenalia. Yep. I’m fascinated by this tribal-esque psychedelic comic book art.  I can’t seem to figure out who did it. But there’s more of it at nodoctors.com. If you figure out the artist’s name please let me know.

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