Archive for the I Heart Holidays Category

Junko Mizuno Makes Me Jizz

Posted in Art & Culture, Art Lover, Goof & Glamour, I Heart Holidays, I Heart Shaman*Art, Psyche & Sexuality, SPOOKY KABUKI with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2010 by alphabetfiend

Well, freaks, it’s October. You know what that means, right?

It means my evil alter Spooky Kabuki is in a witchy crouch over Cream Scene Carnival so expect some cauldron-stirring.

Things are crazy for me now but I WILL get it together and deliver the crazy cool stuff that Spook-Kabuk has been saving up.

 

Such as what? Well, how bout a Mark Ryden inspired interior? Or the coolest ouiji boards ever? Plus while we got ouiji on the brain we must discuss Weegee’s crime scene photography. There’s steampunk rayguns that go up yer butt & movies that’ll scare the shit outta ya.

Ghost stories, voodoo chants, a gypsy curse or tw0 or three.

Plus, an amazing array of creepy art by a hoodoo slew of artists such as the wicked Junko Mizuno. You’ll be hearing more about that talented hag so stay tuned.

*All art by Junko Mizuno

Do I get Extra Pirate Points For Having the Coolest Eye-Patch?

Posted in Goof & Glamour, I Heart Holidays, I Heart My Love-Tribe, In Celebration of the Absurd with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 20, 2010 by alphabetfiend

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, for those of you who might not already know. I’m sure most of you have been bombarded with Aaaaargh’s and Aye Matey’s all day long.

I’m nutter for holidays. I relish any opportunity for full-blown festivity. Seriously. Just ask my peeps and wait for the groans. But aside from calling my pup a PAWrate today, I really haven’t been making an effort.

Will it make up for my lack of pirate-talk if I post a picture of me-as-Plush D* in what is surely the coolest eye-patch ever?

 

Bedecked with outlaw bling, this sucker is a beloved treasure. Is it any wonder why? Yes, I know you are jealous. I can’t help that. Don’t hate me because my eye-patch is beautiful.

Extra points?

Extra points for being a glam wench with lotsa BOOTY? Y’know, pirate booty, like loot; jewels, gems, bling-bling, gewgaws. Oh, and ASS. I gotsa lotsa ass. AYE am an assly lass.

“I Saw The Light” (Sunday A.M. Punk Rock Gospel)

Posted in country music, I Heart Holidays, Rock & Roll, Spirituality & Religion, Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel, The wisdom of the universe, Top 2% of Coolest Mofos with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2010 by alphabetfiend

“No more darkness , No more night . Now I’m so happy , no sorrow in sight . Praise the Lord, I saw the Light .”

Happy Birthday, Hank Williams!

It doesn’t matter who you are, whatever you’re into, if you have even a modicum of cool then you hafta give it up for Hank Williams.

Hank Williams is a country legend with punk rock rising.

Hank was/is mournful country heart with gospel soul, rock & roll charisma, and punk as fuck aura. 

Williams was regal and rebellious at once.

He had a dignified air and sexy masculinity, despite his rock-a-billy suits bedecked with glitter or musical notes.

Hank Williams, you magnificent mofo, thank you for all the gifts you’ve bestowed on us.

Happy Birthday.

In honor of Hank’s birthday, I’d chosen “I saw the light” for this weekend’s Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel. Cause Hank is divine and ’cause it’s “I Saw the Light,” C’mon! It’s a perfect punk rock gospel selection. Thing is, Hank’s birthday is today. What’s stopping us from having a Friday P.M. Punk Rock Gospel? Nothing! That’s the best part of a temple with no walls or a religion with no rules. You do like Johnny Cash and make it your own personal Jesus, whatever “it” may be. However it may happen, you are open to illumination.

 

Hey, it’s a bit dim in here, can somebody hit the lights?

(Hank Williams, singing “I Saw the Light” with The Carter Family. Listen… can you hear June’s voice?)

I SAW THE LIGHT
I wandered so aimless , life filled with sin.
I wouldn’t let my dear Saviour in.
Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night .
Praise The Lord , I saw the Light .

CHORUS
I saw the Light , I saw the Light ,
No more darkness , No more night .
Now I’m so happy , no sorrow in sight .
Praise the Lord, I saw the Light .

Just like the blind man, I wandered along ,
Worries and fears , I claimed for my own.
Then like the blind man, that God , gave back his sight .
Praise the Lord, I saw the Light .

CHORUS

I was a fool to wander and stray,
For straight is the gate and narrow the way.
Now I have traded , the wrong for the right .
Praise the Lord , I saw the Light .
CHORUS

Louder Than A Bomb (Sunday A.M. Punk Rock Gospel)

Posted in I heart hip hop, I Heart Holidays, Music & Life & Sundays, politics, punk rock, Republicans scare me, Spirituality & Religion, Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 4, 2010 by alphabetfiend

They claim we’re products from the bottom of hell cause the black is back and it’s bound to sell. Picture us coolin’ out on the Fourth of July and if you heard we were celebratin’, that’s a world wide lie. — Public Enemy

Thanks for tuning in to this special Fourth of July Edition of the Sunday A.M. Punk Rock Gospel.

‘Cause the D is for dangerous
You can come and get some of this
I teach and speak
So when its spoke, it’s no joke
The voice of choice
The place shakes with bass
Called one for the treble
The rhythm is the rebel

So many Sundays, the punk rock gospel has been about appreciating the beauty in life and not being a hater; having gratitude and gusto; forming questions and searching for answers. All good, all valid, but this week is different. This week is about noticing the disfunction (whether in friendships, family or government) and demanding more than disfunction. Speak up, sound the truth, use your voice to fight for what’s right. Make up your own mind regardless of outside pressure. This week I urge you to doubt when doubt is warranted.

This week’s punk rock gospel selection is “Louder Than A Bomb” by masters of dissent, Public Enemy.

Last week , in “Tryin To Make It Real Compared To What,” Les McCaan and Eddie Harris sang:

The President, he’s got his war
Folks don’t know just what it’s for
Nobody gives us rhyme or reason
Have one doubt, they call it treason

Damn. The more things change the more they stay the same. Lyrics written in the 1960’s ring true like they were written yesterday, or back when Bush was in office, or back when Bush’s daddy was in office. I wanted to address the redundancy of politics (and the resulting tragedy) in last Sunday’s Punk Rock Gospel (Tryin’ To Make It Real…) but a political rant hardly fit the emotional tenor of that post.

Still it stuck with me like a burr on a dog’s ball sack.

Now, in the wee hours of July 4th, I’m thinking about patriotism.

Have one doubt, they call it treason.

Ask one question and “the terrorists win.”

I get weary of the old refrain “If you don’t like it, leave.” (I’m so weary of it that I’m actually thinking about leaving. Life as an ex-pat may be just the thing.) A patriot is someone who loves their country and squawks when they see it headin’ off the rails, who believes in the freedom our forefathers fought for, who knows that freedom is not some hyped-up propaganda to be used against us by speech writers.

Never servin ’em well, ’cause I’m an un-Tom
It’s no secret at all
Cause I’m louder than a bomb

Today, as we celebrate the Fourth of July, on boats or in backyards, wearing flip-flops or setting off fire-crackers, flipping burgers or making vats of lemonade, let’s remember that part of loving this country is looking out for it. A patriot is someone who wants the very best for America, not just the same old same old status quo. Complacence and silence can be devastating. A human voice can be LOUDER THAN A BOMB. Don’t be afraid to light that fuse!

If speaking up makes you Public Enemy #1 then so be it. You’ll be in some fine company.

To hear “Louder Than A Bomb” as originally recorded on “It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back” (without the distraction of live footage)play this sucker.

If you wanna see footage of Public Enemy performing “Louder Than A Bomb” live, here’s a pretty great version culled from many not so great versions (with bad sound, bad shots or both.)

Peace out, patriots. I have an American Flag cake to bake — whipped cream icing with blueberries as stars and strawberries as stripes. Yum. Let them eat cake! Thanks for tuning in this 4th of July. I hope Public Enemy has inspired.

Let your rhythm be the rebel!!!

Louder Than A Bomb

This style seems wild
Wait before you treat me like a stepchild
Let me tell you why they got me on file
‘Cause I give you what you lack
Come right and exact
Our status is the saddest
So I care where you at black
And at home I got a call from Tony Rome
The FBI was tappin’ my telephone
I never live alone
I never walk alone
My posses always ready and they’re waitin’ in my zone
Although I live the life that of a resident
But I be knowin’ the scheme that of the president
Tappin’ my phone whose crews abused
I stand accused of doing harm
‘Cause I’m louder than a bomb
C’mon C’mon louder etc…

I am the rock hard trooper
To the bone, the bone, the bone
Full grown – consider me – stone
Once again and
I say it for you to know
The troop is always ready, I yell `geronimo’
Your CIA, you see I ain’t kiddin’
Both King and X they got ridda’ both
A story untold, true, but unknown
Professor Griff knows…
“I ain’t no toast”
And not the braggin’ or boastin’ and plus
It ain’t no secret why they’re tappin’ my phone, although
I can’t keep it a secret
So I decided to kick it, yo
And yes it weighs a ton
I say it once again
I’m called the enemy – I’ll never be a friend
Of those with closed minds, don’t know I’m rapid
The way that I rap it
Is makin’ ’em tap it, yeah
Never servin ’em well, ’cause I’m an un-Tom
It’s no secret at all
Cause I’m louder than a bomb

Cold holdin’ the load
The burden breakin’ the mold
I ain’t lyin’ denyin’, ’cause they’re checkin’ my code
Am I buggin’ ’cause they’re buggin’ my phone – for information
No tellin’ who’s sellin’ out – power buildin’ the nation so…
Joinin’ the set, the point blank target
Every brothers inside – so least not, you forget, no
Takin’ the blame is not a waste, here taste
A bit of the song so you can never be wrong
Just a bit of advice, ’cause we be payin’ the price
‘Cause every brother mans life
Is like swingin’ the dice, right?
Here it is, once again this is
The brother to brother
The Terminator, the cutter

Goin’ on an’ on – leave alone the grown
Get it straight in ’88, an’ I’ll troop it to demonstrate
The posse always ready – 98 at 98
My posse come quick, because my posse got velocity
Tappin’ my phone, they never leave me alone
I’m even lethal when I’m unarmed
‘Cause I’m louder than a bomb

‘Cause the D is for dangerous
You can come and get some of this
I teach and speak
So when its spoke, it’s no joke
The voice of choice
The place shakes with bass
Called one for the treble
The rhythm is the rebel
Here’s a funky rhyme that they’re tappin’ on
Just thinkin’ I’m breakin’ the beats I’m rappin’ on
CIA FBI
All they tell us is lies
And when I say it they get alarmed
‘Cause I’m louder than a bomb

*Atomic Tree available as a print.

I’ll Be Spending Xmas with Gerard Butler

Posted in Art & Culture, I Heart Holidays, Movies & Movie Stars, Technicolor Pop with tags , , , , , on December 16, 2008 by alphabetfiend

All my future holidays will be spent with Gerard Butler. He’ll carve the turkey, he’ll spike the nog. He’ll piss in the snow and put my brothers in headlocks. He’ll be baby-daddy to my little kiddies, I mean my little nieces and nephews. (Sorry Cha, that photo I chose of Butler’s blue-jean clad crotch had me, um, momentarily mmm distracted. That’ll never happen once you two are married. Once he’s yer hubby I’ll forget he was ever a hottie.) Yep, my sisterly friend Cha Cha is going to be Gerard Butler’s bride and those nieces and nephews are gonna be ungodly insanely beautiful. Devilishly beautiful.

gerard_butler

That’s right, bitches, hands off! He’s Cha’s man! Well, not yet, first I have to write a screenplay… okay first I have to figure out how to write a screen play (novels, I know, screenplays, not so much.) Then that screenplay will become a movie and Cha will dress like a Latino hoochie and strut about on set. THEN eyes will meet, souls will meld and uglies will bump.

Then I’ll be the prettiest bridesmaid possible next to the MOST BEAUTIFUL bride ever and then will come those happy holidays spent with Mr. Butler giving Mrs. Butler a festive dry-hump beneath the mistletoe.

So, any ideas out there for a good GB movie? I need to get on this cause I only just now got this email from Cha:

Dear Dia –

After thinking about your desire to get into screenwriting, I have a request.

Please write a vehicle which can star Gerard Butler.

I am pretty sure we are meant to be but just need an introduction.

Thanks for helping me find my future mate!

CC

Before this note, which I only just received 10 minutes ago, I had no idea that Butler was my friend’s soul mate or the star of my very first screenplay. Please! Send GB script ideas my way. I need to write it, sell it, and get Cha married off to Gerard all before next Christmas cause he is sooo setting up the giant glowing Rudolph that roosts on the roof. I can’t be bothered with it, I’m too busy writing on a furry stocking in glitter-glue cursive letters: G-E-R-A-R-D.

Let It Snow Some Mo!

Posted in I Heart Holidays with tags , , , , , on December 11, 2008 by alphabetfiend

I’m still just giddy over Austin’s rare snowfall. What a Christmasy treat. Like Egg Custard Pie.

In honor of topsy-turvy goodness like eggnog that’s bitten not chugged or snow in Austin, I give you this great ukulele Christmas carol. So grab your uke and join us in song!

If you don’t have a uke but you DO have some extra time on your hands, why not do a litle DIY and build you a hula strummer? Just imagine, you’ll be the life of the party at next year’s Xmas parties. Maybe you can make them into XXXmas parties: pile your neck with leis and see if chicks’ll show you their boobs in exchange for neon plastic blossoms. Plus you can participate in bitchin’ events like this poster advertises. How fun! The Uke! It’s the new banjo! (Wink wink .Werd.)

uke_out_poster4x6

 

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
It doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I’ve bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm!
But if you’ll really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm!
But if you’ll really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow…!

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Posted in Dork Alert, I Heart Friends, I Heart Holidays, I Heart My Love-Tribe with tags , , , , , , , on December 11, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Ever since it started snowing on wordpress my heart has been aching for some real white stuff.  Being that I now live in Austin, Texas my wish for some Christmasy powder was rather improbable. But then again who woulda thought that it could snow in cyber space? Talk about improbable! And last night it snowed in A-TX too! Yay!

snow

The fun part about dating a teacher is that snow days have the same magic as they did when we were kids and snow days here in Austin don’t even have to be that snowy for the powers that be to shut the city down. So we were giddy last night and bummed this morning. Oh well. It was still nice. We’d spent the evening eating the nutmeggy custard pie that Cha Cha brought back from Houston (cause they’re my favorite, like eggnog as pie) and watching a Disney Christmas movie about Santa losing his weather robot which a couple kids then get a hold of — antics and an LA blizzard ensue. Yes, I must confess a wicked fetish for dorky Christmas movies. The Robot Boy tapes every schlocky one he can find on Lifetime or Hallmark and he’ll say “Here, I taped some porn for you” and my frown turns upside down when I find out that it’s about Santa’s daughter falling in love beneath a magic sprig of mistletoe. Oh oh oh yes yes yes ooooooooooo yes. Sigh of delight. At about 11pm Cha yawned and bundled up in her cutie pie coat. I kissed her sweet cheeks and made her promise to drive careful but she was back in a flash…

“It’s snowing!”

“It’s snowing?”

“It’s snowing!”

We stood on my porch in awe of the flurries and feeling sentimental. Shortly after we first met, years ago, I threw a valentine-making party that was made gorgously memorable by unplanned party games like snow ball fights and snow angels. Cha Cha wrapped her arms around me and we hugged in the falling snow. Awwww. I sure do love my Cha.

There wasn’t enough snow to build a fat Frosty but had we been warmer and less lazy we could’ve constructed a Samurai Robot like this one. How great is that? Whoever built a Samurai Robot is one cool mo-fo! One cold snow-fo! Fo sho!

snow-samurai

Austin’s mercurial weather never ceases to amaze me! Just last week my backyard was  a fall fantasy like a Carolina Hardagree painting  and today it was snow. This weekend? In the 70’s. Nutty. Chestnutty. Well Santa, thanks for the snow. As improbable as it seems, I must be on the nice list.  I may be naughty but I have loads of Christmas spirit!

 

Egg custard -- a christmasy concoction!

Egg custard -- a christmasy concoction!

Cha got my pie from Houston’s “House of Pies” but we’re gonna try our hands at making our own someday. Here’s a promising recipe if you wanna try your hand at eggnog you can bite into. Yum yum.

Egg Custard Pie

Ingredients:

  • 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • grated nutmeg
  • pastry for 1 crust

Preparation:

Add sugar and salt to lightly beaten eggs; add milk and vanilla; mix to combine thoroughly. Pour into unbaked pie shell; sprinkle generously with nutmeg. Bake at 425° for 25 to 35 minutes, or until knife inserted in center comes out clean.

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