Archive for Democratic Process

Black Man In the White House! Finally.

Posted in politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by alphabetfiend

I’m bouncing around the room!

I’m tearing up every five minutes.

It feels so damn good to see those barriers blown to bits.


This is how change happens.

This is the world doing the right thing. It’s a human rights issue and it’s huge and beautiful and glorious and about damn time.


Debates: Penguin-McCain VS Batman-Obama. Too Funny! (video)

Posted in politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Have you seen this yet? Oh, it’s wonderful. I’d love to meet the geek boy who dug up this gem. You know he was chuckling to himself. I’m sure it was one of those light bulb moments that explode into pure delight. Ah, the superstrings of the cosmos. Or the predictability of the villain politician. Joseph Campbell would have some wisdom to add no doubt. Archetypes abound. No matter how you look at it, it’s awesome.

Batman! Who is he? Who is this acrobatic clown who somersaults around Gotham City in a rediculous costume? Will you think about that a moment, my friends? Whenever you see Batman, who’s he with? Criminals! That’s who! You look in the old newspapers — every picture shows him with crooks, thieves, hobnobbing with crooks. Where as my pictures show me always surrounded by whom? By the police! I am an associate of the law. 


Hank Hill Votes for Obama!

Posted in I Heart Funny Femmes, politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Hank Hill is not amused by the dumbass-ery of the Republican ticket. Both the ever-logical Mr. Hill and his dog-duchess Ladybird are voting for Obama. It’s a smart move considering his son’s penchant for show tunes & drag. Yes, Bobby likes girls, yes, and he and Connie were “goin’ together.”  As a hag, I know a little about fags and their love-hate relationship with the ladies. As a lady whose gent is a real-life grown up Bobby Hill, I can also forsee a future for Bobby as a bonafide ladie’s man. Either way, it’s all good.
1203-1.png picture by plushied
To be safe, Hank & Peggy best say no to Palin. The Veep nom is not what you’d call “gay-friendly.”  Sure, she “tolerates” gays with all her heart while viewing them as an evil mutation that deserves the AIDS and the dark-alley beatings and whatever else might befall them before they meet their due deaths and are sent straight to hell. The Hills still believe in the American Dream and they want that for Bobby, who is their first born son and only child thanks to Hank’s narrow urethra. Bobby’s questionable sexuality wasn’t part of that dream back when the Hills were first dreaming and sure, they struggle. After all, who wants their child’s future to include those back-alley beatings or the disdain of piggish haters like Palin who want to keep them legally less-than. Yup. Who indeed?  
Hank4Obama-1-1.jpg picture by plushied

Sadly, the similarities between The McCain-Palin ticket and the animated Hill family are more than skin deep:

  • Peggy’s a (substitute) Spanish teacher whose Spanish is barely passable, but don’t tell her that! Peggy thinks she’s “mooey prolifico in talkito el Spaniard.” Sigh. All you teachers, your reward is in heaven. Peggy loves to play Boggle and the blame game. Peggy knows all about grrl-power and nothing about feminism. Peggy thinks if you can run your household, you can run the world. Peggy’s glasses suit her.
  • Cotton’s a rageaholic war monger. Cotton’s “cut off at the knees” and is proud to be an emotional cripple who barely knows his children. Cotton’s an abusive tyrant who thinks his military service excuses any and all bad behavior. Cotton’s led a long life of hard livin’ and when he dies, his legacy will be left in the hands of his unworldly concubine cum redneck youngin’. Cotton can’t get past what his enemies did to him during his vaunted military service. Cotton lacks class. He’s a sexist, violent ego-maniac whose old war stories are really getting old.

There are a few differences:

  • Peggy Hill may “tolerate” the gays now but that will change the minute Bobby Hill comes out of the closet, if not before. Peggy accepts Bobby as he is. If her son is gay, then Peggy will say that “gay’s the way to be.” I tell you whut. Even Hank, hard as he fights it, would accept his son and by proxy his son’s hubby. I spy Hank & Peggy — future members of PFLAG!
  • Cotton did not crash — is it 5 or 7?–  planes and then get himself captured. Cotton would never be captured. Cotton’s not a coward, but he is a lunatic. Good luck capturing Cotton. (In actuality, Cotton is even less alive then McCain and not just because he’s make-believe.)

No wonder Larry Flint cast Peggy as porn-star Palin in his latest political project Nailin Pailin!  And of course Cotton Hill starred as John McCain! An obvious choice. But poor poor Hank.  The things Hank saw while a tool-fluffer on Flint’s film! Now that’s XXX wrong. Argh! Burns the eyeballs! As if Hank weren’t already soured on the McCain-Palin ticket!

So Hank is voting for Obama. And Homer’s voting Obama too. Toons for Truth!

What’s funny in Arlen is not so funny in Washington.

What’s not funny in Washington is even less funny in my hometown and yours.

What happens in Washington does not STAY in Washington. Instead it “trickles down” (yea right) and leaves us damp and moldy. It makes like The Blob and oozes across state lines (bread lines?) Bubbles beneath door jambs, creeps into our homes. Bad decisions made by politicians become our problems. Make a list of your current ills and consider. Yup. I know. Bummer, isn’t it? Now think abroad, imagine the lists of others and how American politics has had a hand in that. Yup. Beyond bummer. Don’t let the 2008 election be your bad decision. 

Homer knows better, Hank knows better.

We know better.

Don’t we?

Homer Simpson Votes for Obama! (w/video)

Posted in Art & Culture, politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Homer Simpson thinks it’s time for a change.

Grampa Simpson still likes Ike.

Even Homer is Ready to Move Outta the Dark Ages
Even Homer is Ready to Move Outta the Dark Ages

Despite Sarah Palin’s claim to be Miss Joe Six Pack, Homer Simpson is an Obama man. In leaked footed from an episode to air on November 2, Homer votes for Obama (or tries to) but the voting machine repeatedly changes his vote to McCain. When Homer cries in outrage, the machine eats him, drains his lifeblood and spits him out. An “I Voted” sticker is then plastered on his dome.

The Democratic Process ain’t what it used to be.  But then we already knew that.

Still, it’s great to see Matt Groening and Homer at least TRY to have their say.

I only hope that other beer-chugging Homers can do the same come voting day which is to look past race or Sarah Palin’s jugs. (Yesterday I posted two pieces, one titled “McCain Confesses to Dictator Aspirations” which is scary scary scary and the other titled “Nudie Palin Hangs (all) Out in Dive Bar” — needless to say, one of those posts got substantially more hits than the other.)

I’m excited to watch this episode of the Simpsons which has become an “American Institution” since the family made their first appearance on The Tracey Ullman Show in spring of 1987.  I wonder if this Homer Votes episode is their Halloween show?  Most likely… which means it’s gonna be AWE-some.  

This post is dedicated to my friends Vince Cowan & Dwayne Lavigne. Homer voting for Obama is a fine thing indeed. Open up an icy can of Duff. Sho nuff. Vote for Homer! Dop! I mean Obama!


Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

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