Archive for I Heart Dress-Up

My Mask Reveals (Transmuting Miss Van)

Posted in Art & Culture, Art Lover, Fur Reals, Goof & Glamour, I Heart Shaman*Art, Lipstick Shamaness, Psyche & Sexuality, punk rock, Sexuality, SPOOKY KABUKI with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2010 by alphabetfiend

Personally, I like masks year ’round and have been known to don a mask & a tight-as-fuck punk tee for a regular (tho rockin’) night out. However, most humans deem Halloween (& Carnivale) to be the only “appropriate” times to don a mask. For freaks like me, October (& February) are nice times to stock up. 

I never expected to be the tattooed lady — even made it through my 20’s with just one bottle-cap crown — but then I fell in love with the Spanish/French graffiti artist Miss Van. By a stroke of kismet, I met Tina Forever, a gifted tattoo artist capable of transmuting the Miss Van magic. Now I say that my body is an inky Parisian alleyway. I regret that I don’t have more flesh to commit to inky renderings of Miss Van’s masked darlings. Every time I turn around, I’m falling in love with another one and wondering where on my body, she might feel at home.

DWTS Exploited My Weakness for Cho

Posted in Fame & Celebrity, Goof & Glamour, Got My TV Eye On You, I Heart Funny Femmes, I Heart Robots, I like big butts & I can not lie, Strange Science, Style & Fashion, Technicolor Pop, Top 2% of Coolest Mofos, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by alphabetfiend

When I first heard that Margaret Cho was on the new cast for DWTS, I was in the Austin audience at Margaret Cho’s performance at The Paramount. She was kvetching about being sore from all the dance practice.

My initial response was “Crap, now I have to watch that shit n’ shinola. Dancing with the stars? Ugg.”

Yet another reminder to never say never.

“Why must you?” you ask. Well, because I love Cho more than I hate DWTS. DUH! Don’t you?

C’mon! We gotta take Cho when and where we can get her. Whether it’s on Lifetime’s schlocky yet charming series Drop Dead Diva, doing the tango on DWTS, or live at The Paramount.

Plus we’ll get to see her mom, which features prominently and hilariously in Cho’s stand-up.

Now that I’ve resigned myself to my pitiful fate, I hafta say I’m really looking forward to seeing Cho in sparkles, sequins and spandex. While performing her stand-up, she was already sporting a street-wear version of DWTS style. She wore a loose silky tunic — one-shoulder, sequined — that showed off her gorgeous shoulder tats. She paired the sparkly tunic with American Apparel’s metallic spandex leggings in spaceship silver; grounding the get-up with a great pair of ass-kicker boots. Mmm. Rugged and mmm soft buttery leather and mmm.

Sorry. My clothes-lust kinda took over for a second there. Lemme wipe the drool from my chin and we’ll move on.

I’m gonna enjoy seeing her twice a week for as long as this lasts. Once she’s booted, I’ll be free but I’ll be bummed.

I just hope she does the Robot. Cause that would totally rock.

No go show Cho some love! Give her some sugars! Form a rallying crowd for her to surf through. Join Team Van-Cho. GO!

It’s My Party, I’ll Dream If I Want To…

Posted in Dork Alert, Sexy Bitch Steampunk yum, Style & Fashion, The Ringleader, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 7, 2010 by alphabetfiend

Being as I’m the birthday girl and this is my party, I’ve decided to indulge my goofy fantasies. Myth-making & cool shit galore! I’ve compiled imaginary lists of all the fine gifts I’d lavish on my Cream Scene altar-egos if only money, reality or logistics were no problem. These are fantasy items and it matters not that it was last season or that I could never afford or find it.       

That said, I’ve still made an effort to include some things that others might like/afford/find.       

This should be a good way for y’all to get the know the various characters here at Cream Scene Carnival. Consider it a visual story of my earthly desire. We are living in a material world and I am a material girl.              

Let us begin with your Ringleader:      


Always start with a cap, my loveys, such as this itty-bitty carnival mini top hat by Two Back Flats. Then I’d have to pop over to Bust magazine’s boobtique for the dastardly mustache necklace by the fab London design duo Tatty Devine.           


Next comes the most magical item of Ringleader garb: the skin-tight trousers with black & white stripes. I have searched for these everywhere and and cannot believe that the search is finally over. I found the absolutely perfect steampunk pirate rocker pair at Steampunk Couture. The best part is that she custom makes them to fit your body. Which means those suckers are gonna fit like a glove. (Steampunk couture )   mmmm. Sexy bitch steam punk yum.                      

With that little satin tophat? Lions, tigers & rump -- o-my!

 Next comes this sexy-sweet little corset top (out of which bosoms will threaten to spill) and this wonderfully wacky vest like origami clown garb. Both pieces from Anthropology. I love these cutenesses, especially that vest, and so I must have them in real life.   


 A circus cool pin from So Charmed (available on Etsy)                 


Vintage electric blue granny boots… perfect for the sweet ass strut!   


And a whip, of course…one that snaps the sno-cones from the mouths of babes…   


Whaddaya think of this Ringleader, lovers? Isn’t she hot? Odd? Fun?     

Stay tuned as we shop for the other Cream Scene Carnival characters.    

Happy Birthday, Ringleader! And now I must dive into bed cause I fell asleep while typing and woke up to find I had typed some strange kind of dream nonsense.

Did Kenley Cheat Her Way Down Project’s Runway?

Posted in Style & Fashion, TV with tags , , , , , , on October 23, 2008 by alphabetfiend

At first blush, Kenley was my favorite Project Runway season 5 contestant. I now chock it up to narcissism: hmm, let’s see, a brunette cutie with a fondness for hats, headpieces and “fascinators” — basically anything she could pin to the side of her head. OK yea, I can get that in the mirror any day of the week, so when she starting acting like a third-class A-hole I bailed from the Kenley fan club. Ever since season one when I became a diehard Project Runway fan, I’ve seen the wisdom in Tim Gunn’s critiques. The man is fulla truth-talk. Were I a contestant and Tim Gunn said “This collar is a little matronly” I’d be wiping my ass with that collar ASAP. Jay McCarroll, the first ever winner, and my all-time fav, had that figured out way back in the dizz-ay. So when Kenley rolled her eyes at Tim Gunn like she couldn’t be bothered, I knew she was a goner. I’m just surprised it took so long! With that kind of attitude, it’s a miracle she made her way to the final three. Really, I was done with Kenley from the very first time they called her out for knocking off another designer and she snapped “I don’t follow fashion. I don’t look at magazines.”

No matter how I look at that ignorant statement, it’s all kinda wrong. That’s like a supposed poet claiming he’s never heard of Ginsberg or a self-touted writer who doesn’t read. Which happens all too often. So basically, what you’re saying is, lemme get this right, yea, you suck and you have no passion for what you do. Well, then why are you wasting our time?  No true artist pops out of an egg with no experience, influence or abiding passion over the genius of the past. Puh-leeze. If you’re actually talented, then you should not be afraid to show us your math. So either Kenley is a total moron whose never opened the pages of Vogue or she’s a liar. For her sake, I hope she’s a liar.

Floral print, puff sleeves...hmmm... but the ruched sides of the sleeves? Fishy.

Floral print, puff sleeves...hmmm... but the ruched sides of the sleeves? Shady.

The judges called her out for being derivative multiple times, too many times for it to be a morphic field coincidence. At the end, she finally broke and almost  confessed to the theft of her wedding dress.

I will tell you… the dress is a little Alexander McQueen… (Michael Kors)

Really? (Kenley)

Bothers me a touch, quite honestly. (Kors)

It is a dead ringer for the McQueen dress that just walked the runway. (Nina Garcia)

No, there’s no silhouette like that. (Kenley, conceding.)

I wish the McQueen wasn’t there for me, quite frankly. (Kors)

I wish it wasn’t either. (Kenley: yea, it sucks to get caught.)

When Kenley said, “No, there’s no silhouette like that,”  she was finally admitting to what she’d done by pointing out what she’d tweaked. At that, the judges let it go. They knew she’d changed the silhouette, maybe even for the better. There’s a place in the fashion biz for Kenley. She should go talk to Allen Schwartz — king of designer knock-offs. He’ll hire her in a second. She made the McQueen dress more wearable and more sell-able. By putting it in the context of a “wedding” dress, she snatched it off the runway and sent it down the aisle. I’d wear the holy hell outta either dress if I got the chance. No excuses or events needed. I’d take a leisurely walk in the hood (bare toes painted a pearly shade of eggshell.) But for most women, they would only feel comfortable in such an outrageous attention-getting frock on their wedding day — when it’s polite to be princessy. Kenley tweaked the color and the silhouette and switched context. It’s a damn fine knock-off. If Kenley can accept that revision is where she shines, she may have a future in fashion. There’s only one Alexander McQueen but there’s countless others scrambling to translate the McQueen dream into something more wearable and affordable. Kenley can do that. But first she needs to come clean about her magazine subscriptions.

Kenley’s Little Shop of Knockoffs had no chance next to Leanne’s startling original designs. I wanted Korto to win, or else Jarrell. (Maybe I’m just in the mood to see black folks triumph — VOTE OBAMA!) Korto presented a great collection, Jarrell not so much. Still, even Korto’s colorful ethnic line was just not as awe-inspiring as Leanne’s. I was non-plussed over Leanne all season, except for her scorpion dress during the Astrology challenge. That baby was an avant garde architectural masterpiece.  Well, she showed up at Bryant Park with more of that — a line that was wave-inspired. I was blown away! As a mermaid, I was won over by the chance to wear the ocean as a dress. Or better yet, as a vest!  Wow.  So Leanne won and damn if she didn’t deserve to win.

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