Archive for I Heart Mermaids

Sexy Mermaid Vay-Cay Get-a-Way (for Alice)

Posted in Art & Culture, Art Lover, Buxom Goo Goo, Goof & Glamour, I Heart Mermaids, Mythos with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2010 by alphabetfiend

Alice has been fantasizing about “a luxurious, decadent, and totally out of reach beach rental in Florida, especially for Mermaids, I kid you not.”

“Mermaid Castle” is the oldest beach house in Crescent Beach, Florida. The house, once a small grove of cypress, sleeps 12 and is available for holiday rentals.

“Mermaid Castle” features a tiki hut, a jacuzzi and a swimming pool perfect for re-infusing our scaly tails with much needed moisture. Also — so we don’t get too homesick for Atlantis, which is such a sorrowful “itis,” just ask Alice — there are “breathtaking ocean views.”

It’s no wonder Alice is inspired to play hostess (with the mostess.) 

“What a tea party I would throw. Of course, I would invite the Mad Hatter, Foxy Trickster, and the illusive brown rabbit with the black spots.”

Did you catch that, sailors?

I’ve been given a sought-after invite to Alice’s tea party. That’s me, Foxy Trickster!

I just can’t wait to meet the Hatter. I hear he’s very, how do they say? Eccentric. Those are my people, y’know. The Eccentrics. Jonathan Zap calls us mutants, I call us mermaids. Some people say weirdos to which I say “Woo-hoo!”

Oh what a tea-party that would be!

There on Crescent Beach, sipping maitais outta porcelain teacups, stuck haphazardly with technicolor paper umbrellas. We’d munch on a rainbow array of Parisian macaroons shaped like swirly seashells. We’d play poker with oceanic ante: tiny starfish & coin-sized turtles with orange sherbet bellies. We’d nap in poolside hammocks as the pages (and our fins) flapped in the salty breeze.

Around midnight, we’d don sequin mini-dresses & fishnet stockings. We’d order dark rum ON THE ROCKS  and lure shy seaman, who would crash into us with the velocity of a tsunami.

Of course they’d be long gone come morning (er, some might call it “afternoon.”) We’d awake satisfied, dreamy-eyed and mop-headed. We’d gossip about the evening’s exploits as we lolled beneath paper parasols (like in our teacups, only big.)We’d flop our tails in the sunshine, trading sexy tips & naughty details.

“Like what?” you wonder, with your drawers a-stir.

Well….a mermaid never kisses & tells (outside of a tea party) but let’s just say that we use what our mer-mama’s gave us.

MMMmmm. Mermmmermermermermmm. Mmm.

Get it, knucklehead?

Mermaids are experts at fellatio!

(Or cunnilingus, for those of us who prefer femmes.)

>Wink wink < 

*************************************

The painting “Fishnets” is by the whimsical & wonderful Nancy Farmer. Prints are available. If you have some time, lotsa time, swim on over to the artist’s site. Nancy Farmer must be a mermaid herself because you WILL get hopelessly ensnared. I once spent several hours in her “net” and when I finally came out of her sea-song trance my shirt was soaked with drool and I’d grown a fine set of demon horns. Be forewarned!

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“Be yer own fur, yer own gold” (Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel Blog)

Posted in Art & Culture, Fur Reals, Goof & Glamour, I Heart Mermaids, Music & Life & Sundays, Rock & Roll, Spirituality & Religion, Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2008 by alphabetfiend

“And swans, they wrestled with lifetime’s grasp
In hopefullness they nestled the past
Teachers and travellers made their mark
They dined and feasted on whale and shark’
— Seal Jubilee (Bats for Lashes; Fur and Gold)

Natasha Khan is a Priestess of Play

Natasha Khan is a Priestess of Play

Bats for Lashes… no, it’s not a magic spell scrolled inside a vial of fox blood, nor the tipsy title of a haiku scrawled on a cocktail napkin, nor the “magic words” should you encounter the Wizard of Odd in a dusky maze of roses.  Well, best to keep it in mind.  Natasha Khan is more than songstress, she’s shamaness.  At first sight of Khan in feathers & rainbow glitter, my forehead prickled and my chakras tickled. I ogled her with my third eye.  I’d drink her purple kool-aid!  In big thirsty gulps. We need more DIY spirituality these days. Like Leary’s idea about creating you own religion & then re-creating it before the spark becomes dogma. Glamour has its place in that. Front and center! Chiffon & feathers, jeweled top hat, gold lame slippers with up-turned gypsy toes. I know! I’ll get ordained by an oily seal and then I’ll do weddings.  Anyone getting hitched?  We can all bury our noses in bone china teacups overflowing with sugar — to remind us of life’s delicous absurdity. Then we’ll do the Robot while I read aloud the lyrics from “Seal Jubillee.”

Seal Jubilee :
The seals, they cried in jubilee
The sharks, they howled along with me
And birds, they flew into the wind
The whale, he roamed the lonely sea

And I dived into you
I dived into you
On this ocean hue
‘Cause I dived into you

The lighthouse dog lifted his brow
The crippled trees bent low to growl
And swans, they wrestled with lifetime’s grasp
In hopefullness they nestled the past
Teachers and travellers made their mark
They dined and feasted on whale and shark
And so the ocean lost its depths
And boredom rained as the ocean wept

Birds they raised their young for dead
And ladies used feathery pillows for bed
And black snow came and black snow stayed
And froze the ocean out of love
Out of love

I lay quiet, next to you
Transformed a whole
Transformed anew
No longer diving into
But lying quiet next
To you

As if Natasha Khan’s haunting voice and priestly sleight of hand weren’t enough on this September Sunday,  the song’s set to scenes from the VISION QUEST of a film “The Secret of Roan Inish” which just slays me with its mythic beauty. The story of the selkie, a slick Ink of a mer-lass. Watch as she slithers from her seal skin! Now make like selkie and explore the boundries of your skin (skins.)  Push past, walk with wiggly legs unaccustomed to earth; then dive back in like a Selkie who missed her whiskers & sheen. 

Get outta yer skins, then get back in.  Mind your rind.  Be your own fur, your own gold.  Goof bless. 

“I lay quiet, next to you
Transformed a whole
Transformed anew”


Join me next week for another Sunday AM Punk Rock Gospel Blog…

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

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