Archive for Jon Hamm

A Ladies Man, Missing Ladies & A Pumpkin-Head (SNL October 25)

Posted in I Heart Funny Femmes, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Don Draper was there but Tina Fey wasn’t. (What up? She was supposed to be on for 7 episodes.) Amy Poehler wasn’t there either. She’s pushing out a lil’ punkin head. Maybe Tina Fey is Poehler’s lamaze coach. Is that why Coldplay got four songs? Because they had to scrap Fey-Poehler skits? Things that make you go hmmm.

Liberace’s ghost made an appearance on “Vincent Price’s Halloween Special.” Liberace — in bone-white boa — pounded the piano keys while Vincent Price recited Poe’s “The Raven.”

Fans of Jon Hamm were surely thrilled by a send-up of Madmen titled “Two A-Holes Go to an Ad Agency.”  Watching Don Draper try to finesse SNL’s “Two A-Holes” was pretty funny, babe. Right babe? It was OK, babe. Yea, babe, it was alright.  Several members of the Mad Men cast were in the skit so that was a real treat. (The last episode of Mad Men was so good that I’m still a-quiver, just seeing the cast gave me tingles.)

Another treat for Mad Men viewers — “Don Draper’s Guide to Picking Up Women.”

  1. When in doubt remain absolutely silent.
  2. When asked about your past give vague open-ended answers.
  3. Have a great name.
  4. Look fantastic in a suit, look fantastic in casual wear, look fantastic in anything. Sound good, smell good, kiss good. Strut around with supreme confidence. Be uncannily successful at your job. Blow people away every time you say anything. Take 6 hour lunches. Disappear for weeks at a time. Lie to everyone about everything. Drink and smoke constantly. Basically, BE DON DRAPER.

Oh how I hate to admit that I have fallen for Don Draper. I wanted so badly to be immune to his charms. But the last episode sealed the deal. Yep. I Heart Don Draper. The mysterious deal with the devil bastard who feels either nothing or too much. Sigh. Sexy bitch. He’s in the SPOOKY KABUKI spank bank.

Jon Hamm pitched an unusual project in the scatological skit “Jon Hamm’s john ham.”  A ham you can eat in the bathroom! Imagine a roll of slippery ham slices opposite your roll of TP and a “delicious dispenser of Jon Hamm mustard soap.” But don’t forget the Jon Hamm’s john ham motto:

 “If it feels like a slice of ham, don’t wipe your ass with it.”

What about skits that did not include Jon Hamm? Hmm. Let’s see… Oh! Maybe it’s just me but Robo-Call is a cutie.

Obama and Ayers are gaysexmarried. Obama is face book friends with Osama Bin Laden. Robo-Call built to give movie time, now Robo-Call only used to scare old people. Robo-Call feel dirty all the time. Robo-Call so sad. Next week Robo-Call supposed to tell black people election canceled.

Speaking of our soon-to-be Mr. President, here are a few highlights from The Obama Variety Hour.

  1. Obama and ladylove Michelle share a duet — “Solid as Barrack,”
  2. Bill Clinton croons “Don’t you forget about me,”
  3. Bill Ayers plays the keyboard while Jeremiah Wright takes a Seal turn ala “White People is Crazy” 


I told y’all way-preggers Poehler was about to pop! The baby-daddy is Will Arnett aka JOB from the critically acclaimed (but canceled) Arrested Development. That is gonna be one crazy baby! Is there a gene for funny? If the baby inherits Arnett’s booming voice I predict a nice living doing voice overs for pick-up truck commercials. Poehler’s cast members sung a supportive tune:

We love you Amy! And we just can’t wait to meet your baby!

I bet that baby’s gonna be a funny little squinch-faced chubbling.

Welcome to the planet, little one.

Are you a trick or a treat?

Given your genes, my moneys on a magical mixture of both.

(***Still don’t know what you’re doing next week? Someone compiled a list of SNL inspired halloween costumes circa the 1990’s. Consider the possibilities!)

Mystery Man Jon Hamm on SNL tonight! (Oct 25. Tina Fey too!)

Posted in SPOOKY KABUKI, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Jon Hamm hosts SNL tonight and I’m frothing. 

Maybe you are scratching your head and wondering “Whose this mysterious Jon Hamm that the fiend is fiending over?” If so, you still have time to zip over to the vid-ya store and rent the first few episodes of AMC’s amazing serial “Mad Men” which is about Madison Avenue ad men in the late 50’s early 60’s. Thusly, it’s a historical drama about American consumption. Which I adore. We are living in a material world and I am a material girl.  But above all, Mad Men is the story of of the inscrutable Don Draper — man from nowhere, man from everywhere — who is an archetype wrapped in an aura of secrecy. Everyone who meets him is at once in awe and off-put. He is transcendent and untethered. He is dead-man charming. A watchful Zombie. Don Draper is the ultimate SPOOKY KABUKI pin-up hunk. Handsome in a way that unsettles, Don Draper will get under your skin. Who is that masked man?

Hopefully, they will make use of Hamm’s Don-Draper spookiness on tonight’s SNL. I’d like to see a great Halloween skit. We need a new landshark. Although Tina Fey will be on to reprise her Palin imitation and that is sure to be plenty bone-chilling.

Coldplay is the musical guest. I hear two little toe-heads have been running around the SNL set like sugar-fueled trick’er’treaters. Picture Apple and Moses with sagging sacks and only ten minutes left for hi-jinks and Hershey bars.

I’ll let you know what I think and hey, you do the same.

See ya in the early AM.

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