Archive for Larry Flint

Palin Got A Boob Job!

Posted in politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Sex & XXX with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Oh wait! That’s Lisa Ann. Damn. Throw some lenscrafter specs on a porn star and call her Sarah Palin.

Um.. I mean Serra Paylin. (Clever, clever, Mr. Flint!)

Who put the lipstick on that there pig?

Lisa Ann as Sarah Palin

Boobs for Obama!

Now pervs can watch porn and be patriotic at the same time! Yay!

The plot? A Russian tank crashes into a tree in front of Sarah’s (Serra’s) suspiciously expensive home that Todd Palin supposedly built himself.

Here’s an excerpt from the script:

In Serra’s living room – afternoon.

Close up of a moose head hanging on the wall, then a photo of Serra giving the thumbs up while her foots rests on a dead polar bear.

Snow falls outside a draped window.

There’s a loud knock on the door.

Serra: Jeepers crumpets, who could that be?

Door is opened to reveal:

Two Russian soldiers in long trench coats & fur-lined hats.

Naughty naughty! To see more of the script or of Lisa Ann go thee to TMZ.

Hank Hill Votes for Obama!

Posted in I Heart Funny Femmes, politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Hank Hill is not amused by the dumbass-ery of the Republican ticket. Both the ever-logical Mr. Hill and his dog-duchess Ladybird are voting for Obama. It’s a smart move considering his son’s penchant for show tunes & drag. Yes, Bobby likes girls, yes, and he and Connie were “goin’ together.”  As a hag, I know a little about fags and their love-hate relationship with the ladies. As a lady whose gent is a real-life grown up Bobby Hill, I can also forsee a future for Bobby as a bonafide ladie’s man. Either way, it’s all good.
1203-1.png picture by plushied
To be safe, Hank & Peggy best say no to Palin. The Veep nom is not what you’d call “gay-friendly.”  Sure, she “tolerates” gays with all her heart while viewing them as an evil mutation that deserves the AIDS and the dark-alley beatings and whatever else might befall them before they meet their due deaths and are sent straight to hell. The Hills still believe in the American Dream and they want that for Bobby, who is their first born son and only child thanks to Hank’s narrow urethra. Bobby’s questionable sexuality wasn’t part of that dream back when the Hills were first dreaming and sure, they struggle. After all, who wants their child’s future to include those back-alley beatings or the disdain of piggish haters like Palin who want to keep them legally less-than. Yup. Who indeed?  
 
Hank4Obama-1-1.jpg picture by plushied

Sadly, the similarities between The McCain-Palin ticket and the animated Hill family are more than skin deep:

  • Peggy’s a (substitute) Spanish teacher whose Spanish is barely passable, but don’t tell her that! Peggy thinks she’s “mooey prolifico in talkito el Spaniard.” Sigh. All you teachers, your reward is in heaven. Peggy loves to play Boggle and the blame game. Peggy knows all about grrl-power and nothing about feminism. Peggy thinks if you can run your household, you can run the world. Peggy’s glasses suit her.
  • Cotton’s a rageaholic war monger. Cotton’s “cut off at the knees” and is proud to be an emotional cripple who barely knows his children. Cotton’s an abusive tyrant who thinks his military service excuses any and all bad behavior. Cotton’s led a long life of hard livin’ and when he dies, his legacy will be left in the hands of his unworldly concubine cum redneck youngin’. Cotton can’t get past what his enemies did to him during his vaunted military service. Cotton lacks class. He’s a sexist, violent ego-maniac whose old war stories are really getting old.

There are a few differences:

  • Peggy Hill may “tolerate” the gays now but that will change the minute Bobby Hill comes out of the closet, if not before. Peggy accepts Bobby as he is. If her son is gay, then Peggy will say that “gay’s the way to be.” I tell you whut. Even Hank, hard as he fights it, would accept his son and by proxy his son’s hubby. I spy Hank & Peggy — future members of PFLAG!
  • Cotton did not crash — is it 5 or 7?–  planes and then get himself captured. Cotton would never be captured. Cotton’s not a coward, but he is a lunatic. Good luck capturing Cotton. (In actuality, Cotton is even less alive then McCain and not just because he’s make-believe.)

No wonder Larry Flint cast Peggy as porn-star Palin in his latest political project Nailin Pailin!  And of course Cotton Hill starred as John McCain! An obvious choice. But poor poor Hank.  The things Hank saw while a tool-fluffer on Flint’s film! Now that’s XXX wrong. Argh! Burns the eyeballs! As if Hank weren’t already soured on the McCain-Palin ticket!

So Hank is voting for Obama. And Homer’s voting Obama too. Toons for Truth!

What’s funny in Arlen is not so funny in Washington.

What’s not funny in Washington is even less funny in my hometown and yours.

What happens in Washington does not STAY in Washington. Instead it “trickles down” (yea right) and leaves us damp and moldy. It makes like The Blob and oozes across state lines (bread lines?) Bubbles beneath door jambs, creeps into our homes. Bad decisions made by politicians become our problems. Make a list of your current ills and consider. Yup. I know. Bummer, isn’t it? Now think abroad, imagine the lists of others and how American politics has had a hand in that. Yup. Beyond bummer. Don’t let the 2008 election be your bad decision. 

Homer knows better, Hank knows better.

We know better.

Don’t we?

Peggy Hill in Flint’s Palin Porn: hot XXX mess. (adult content)

Posted in Goof & Glamour, I Heart Funny Femmes, I like big butts & I can not lie, politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Republicans scare me, Sex & XXX, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2008 by alphabetfiend

I told you that Larry Flint was making a Palin porn and then I told you that he’d pegged Peggy Hill to “play” Palin.  I thought for sure that Hank, being the King of his Hill, would never bite. Looks like I was wrong! I don’t know how Flint managed to talk The Hills into this, no doubt Peggy’s insatiable ego came into play. Peggy’s done porn before but only in foot fetish films. This is her first foray into full-spread freakdom. Fortunately (or maybe not) Peggy is familiar with her co-star: her father-in-law Cotton Hill was brilliantly cast as John McCain. 

The resemblance is uncanny! Pretty f#%kin' scary!

Palin & McCain are one hot ticket!

I may be biased. I’ve previously confessed a dirty cartoon fetish (which is pretty weird as I’m very often told that I resemble Betty Boop.) I think Flint’s new project is pure genius. There are plenty similarities beween The Hills family and McCain-Palin. Peggy is perfect as Palin! Absolutely. They both hear “dumbass” and retort with “Why, yes, I am a genius.”

Plus, Peggy has Palin’s homespun vernacular down.

Peggy’s porn star turn is doggone hot,  I tell you whut!

Peggy! We never knew!

Peggy! We never knew!

It’s nice to see Peggy released from her usual get-up. Green tank and skort begone! She took to her pink feather boa like a practiced XXX starlet and eased right into her role as pervy Repub Sarah Palin.
A change from her usual green shirt

Peggy Hill makes one hell of a pornstar!

Who knew Peggy Hill was such a nympho-licious nincompoop?
They don’t call her “The Boggle Champ” for nothin!!!! 
Hank has the heebies

Hank has the heebies

Hank had no idea what he was getting into when he volunteered to “man the tools.” 

Okay, I’ll come clean (if that’s possible) and point out the obvious — Peggy Hill is not actually the new star of Flint’s Palin porn, reportedly called Nailin Palin. The real Palin-player is Lisa Ann and she is not pixilated. Darn! Although I’m sure that the rest of you will find her a more suitable pornstar than Peggy Hill. But if, like me, you dig this toon version, then hop over to drawnsex.com to see more cartoon obscenity from the folks who brought you the above images of the Hills in compromising positions. The Hills aren’t the only toons those freaks at drawnsex.com have sullied. Seriously. You will never look at Snow White the same way again. Or maybe you will… if you have always imagined that her straining bodice becomes ferociously unloosed by horny dwarfs who then feast on her snow-white flesh.

Goof-speed, kinksters.

Box o’ Palin Porn-flakes

Posted in Cinema & Filmmaking, I like big butts & I can not lie, politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Sex & XXX, Sexuality with tags , , , , , , on October 11, 2008 by alphabetfiend

For those mornings when yer hungry for a hot steaming bowl o’ moose muff.

Is Palin McCain's "lucky charm"?

Is SP McCain's Lucky Charm?

I told you perverts that Palin puts Cunt-ry first!!! Did I not?

 The Pitbull’s gonna do it doggie-style, doggonnit!
 
I don’t know if this is Larry Flint’s Palin project cause his was supposed to be called “Nailin’ Palin.”
 
Arg, I’ve written far too much about Palin and porn and Palin in Porn in the last 2 weeks. So I’m gonna let it ride. (giggety.) I’ve had so many giggeties lately, I’m starting to feel like Family Guy’s rez kinkster Quagmire. If you want more content (suuuure ya do, o-yeah, I believe you) then check out my more lengthy post with giggeties aplenty, (Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn or if you’re just more interested in the hottie Flint cast to “play” Palin (yeaaa, now that’s more like it) go peek at the porn star version of Palin on Peggy Hill to Star in Palin Porn. Other than that I’ve got nothin’ more for ya’.
It’s midnight on a Friday and I have porn of my own to watch. 
 
Wet dreams!
 

Peggy Hill to Star in Palin Porn?

Posted in I Heart Funny Femmes, politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Sex & XXX, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Is Peggy Hill the Palin look-a-like to star in Larry Flint’s “Nailin Palin”?
Peggy & Palin are both impressed with themselves

Peggy & Palin are both impressed with themselves

In my last post about the Palin porn, I confessed my cartoon kink. Dirty cartoons are some silly sexy.  Peggy’s perfect for the part. (Palin and Peggy have lots in common; they’re both unqualified idiots who only think they’re smart.) Peggy could stick her giant feet up McCain’s arse-hole and then Hank could show up with his hammer and then the rest. How’s that for Joe Six-Pack? I bet Boomhauer’s huge! That’s why he gets all that boom-boom. It wouldn’t be Peggy’s first foray into porn. She once did online foot fetish videos. If Flint came a knocking, I tell-you-whut, he got hit with Hank’s hammer. (giggety) Hank was all like “I’m the King of this hill!” So Larry cast someone else.
I'm probably the only one who'd prefer Peggy

I'd prefer Peggy -- I'm alone in that no doubt.

Her name is Lisa Ann and she was paid $3000 to star in the Hustler flick. Porn star Nina Hartley was cast as Hillary. I spy some XXX girl-on-girl action. Hope Hartley was careful with her tongue cause like Margaret Cho said, “You know that thing is frozen.” Hartley’s lucky she wasn’t lapping at the real Palin or else it could’ve been a very gross reenactment of the frozen pole (giggety) scene from Christmas Story.

Watch where you put yer tongue!

Watch where you put yer tongue!

 Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak from Austin, Texas.

(Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn

Posted in Feminism (Shades of Gray), I like big butts & I can not lie, politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Psyche & Sexuality, Rock & Roll, Sex & XXX with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Yet another craning look up Sarah Palin’s (mini)skirt*….

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin, since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

Larry Flint is looking to tap (giggety) America’s indecent interest in the Repub VP Nom. Flint’s famously x-rated mind has hand-picked (giggety) a Palin look-a-like to star in his political project.

Flint better get this out out ASAP

Flint better get this sucker out out ASAP

      Larry Flint has fought hard for his rights and sacrificed hugely which has made him an unlikely American hero. Like it or leave it, Flint is definitely a freedom loving freedom fighting American. Maybe you wish he had less freedom but I hope not because that would make you less American than Mr. Flint.
      In College, when devouring Women’s Studies classes, I wrestled with my views on porn. I asked myself “Did I hate Larry Flint?” so I learned more about him. Eventually, as my freedom affords, I made up my own mind on the issue. Porn just isn’t my thing aesthetically. I like a few pounds and a few pubes on a woman and the men….well, a beautiful member doesn’t make for a beautiful man. Now a dirty cartoon complete with sound effects & ample bouncy booty, that’s more like it. I’m too playful and cerebral to enjoy mainstream porn. I’m more of a Tinto Brass kinda girl. (The bicycle scene in Frivolous Lola is some juicy delish!)
      Still I kinda love Larry Flint.
      I admire his voice if not his vision.
      I choose pervy Larry over the hatred that left him paralyzed. I’d rather spend a tropical vacation with Flint than with the a-hole who shot him. He’s more my kinda people. I’ll take a tenacious kinkster over a violent hater every damn time.
      As for the argument that porn is violence against women, I just refuse. I don’t think we should be making any excuses for violent offenders. Violence is a choice. When a rapist rapes, the only person who is robbed of choice is his victim. I don’t give a damn if my man subscribes to Playboy or if Flint publishes Hustler but rapists are scum whose issues run much deeper than their jack-stash. If you think I’m “part of the patriarchy” for having my own opinion then maybe you need a jack-stash of your own. I recommend Tinto Brass. (Especially if you’re an ass-man. Or booty-lady, either way, if you love the bum rent some Brass.)
No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

      As usual, Larry Flint has his finger on the pulse-pulse of America’s privates. We’re obviously quite titillated by this stranger they call Sarah Palin. In Chicago, a painter hung a nude portrait of Palin in a pub and folks flocked in for icy mugs of brewsky and a lil’ look-see. (I posted a piece about the artist Bruce Everett and his nudie gun-toting Palin yesterday and it beat out one on McCain’s desires to be a dictator. Scary.) So don’t blame Flint, blame yer grand-dad or your uncle or yourself. We’re Americans! We reserve the right to sexualize our VP nominees. (So far Margaret Cho’s done it best.)
      We do it because we don’t know what else to do with her. Sarah Palin is an unqualified nobody who stumbles over the simplest of policy questions. (As I write this, Katie Couric is on the CBS news saying “The polls show that Governor Palin is declining in her ability to understand complex issues.”)  Sarah Palin has nothing to say so our minds wander and our eyes stray… we wonder “Hmm, hows’zer rack?”  What else are we supposed to do with a dumb as rocks beauty queen turned PTA mom turned mayor of nowhere who wants to strip us of our rights?
      Palin wants to strip us of our rights, so we wanna strip Palin of her clothes.
She's perty...
      If the Repubs didn’t want us to objectify Sarah Palin they should’ve nominated someone who brought more than pretty to the podium. Alas. I blame that old horndog McCain. He started it! Someone brought him a stack of files and he picked the one with the hottest photo. It was an easy choice for the man with a lifesize Barbie. McCain’s Missus even moves like a Barbie doll. I suspect he used his military clearance to put a perfectly-coiffed plastic Barbie into a top-secret machine and then pressed the button that said “Big.”
      Fortunately for Flint, porn can be shot in an afternoon. It shouldn’t be too hard to hustle up some red stripper heels, a polar bear pelt, a loaded rifle and a moose who shits himself. Tell the “actress” to swing by Lenscrafters on her way.  It should be shot-shipped-&-edited by Friday.  Just in time for a Saturday’s bored & bothered self love session. Flint will act quick. He’ll have to. Palin’s 15 minutes are almost up. GULP. I hope.
      For the sake of alphabetfiend, I’ll watch it but I REFUSE to enjoy it. Sure, I’ll laugh my ass off but that’s ALL my ass is getting. Unless we pop in a little Tinto Brass afterwards, y’know, cause it’s Saturday and we’re bored. Here at the Dollhouse, we’re more psyched to see Homer vote for Obama.  The Simpsons’ episode won’t air until November 2 but the Palin porn may be at yer door this Saturday morn. Enjoy!
Palin was mentioned to capture the feminist vote but got the "giggety" vote instead.

Palin was meant to capture the feminist vote but got the "Giggety" vote

*Aside from the shoulders up b&w photo the rest of these Palin piks are obviously doctored; in fairness & feminism, check out the Palin Sexism Watch.
*As Katie Couric said on CBS news.

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

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