Archive for Margaret Cho

DWTS Exploited My Weakness for Cho

Posted in Fame & Celebrity, Goof & Glamour, Got My TV Eye On You, I Heart Funny Femmes, I Heart Robots, I like big butts & I can not lie, Strange Science, Style & Fashion, Technicolor Pop, Top 2% of Coolest Mofos, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by alphabetfiend

When I first heard that Margaret Cho was on the new cast for DWTS, I was in the Austin audience at Margaret Cho’s performance at The Paramount. She was kvetching about being sore from all the dance practice.

My initial response was “Crap, now I have to watch that shit n’ shinola. Dancing with the stars? Ugg.”

Yet another reminder to never say never.

“Why must you?” you ask. Well, because I love Cho more than I hate DWTS. DUH! Don’t you?

C’mon! We gotta take Cho when and where we can get her. Whether it’s on Lifetime’s schlocky yet charming series Drop Dead Diva, doing the tango on DWTS, or live at The Paramount.

Plus we’ll get to see her mom, which features prominently and hilariously in Cho’s stand-up.

Now that I’ve resigned myself to my pitiful fate, I hafta say I’m really looking forward to seeing Cho in sparkles, sequins and spandex. While performing her stand-up, she was already sporting a street-wear version of DWTS style. She wore a loose silky tunic — one-shoulder, sequined — that showed off her gorgeous shoulder tats. She paired the sparkly tunic with American Apparel’s metallic spandex leggings in spaceship silver; grounding the get-up with a great pair of ass-kicker boots. Mmm. Rugged and mmm soft buttery leather and mmm.

Sorry. My clothes-lust kinda took over for a second there. Lemme wipe the drool from my chin and we’ll move on.

I’m gonna enjoy seeing her twice a week for as long as this lasts. Once she’s booted, I’ll be free but I’ll be bummed.

I just hope she does the Robot. Cause that would totally rock.

No go show Cho some love! Give her some sugars! Form a rallying crowd for her to surf through. Join Team Van-Cho. GO!

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McCain in Bush’s Pocket, Playing Pool

Posted in Hooray for Choice!, Mythos, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Is McCain Bush's Bitch?

Is McCain Bush's Bitch?

The Obama Campaign has claimed that John McCain has voted with President Bush 95% of the time and, according to the Congressional Quarterley’s assessment of McCain’s voting record, that’s a fact.  I can’t bear any more Bush. I’m bushed! So that 95% has me freaked. And apparently I’m not the only one. According to a USA Today/Gallup poll, two in three Americans are also freaking. We don’t want a W’s mini-me to take over. We’re concerned that McCain’s policies are Bush’s policies and that McCain is just running for a third Bush term. Almost half — 49% — of us are “very concerned” that McCain is more of the same. He is. We should be worried. McCain was once his own man. Maybe he was even a “maverick” as he wont to boast. He hasn’t always had his hand in the Dub’s unzipped fly. Once upon a time he even balked at Bush. But no more. As Juan Cole said, “Both at home and abroad, McCain appears intent on abandoning some of his most deeply cherished personal values, including his commitment to secular values and distaste for religious bigotry, in favor of catering to the great W. coalition of white evangelicals and security-obsessed conservatives. Like Bush, his mantras are war and belligerence abroad.”  Well, that’s worrisome. We don’t want war and belligerence. We don’t want a man who would abandon his values. McCain ran in 2000 as himself and lost. To Bush. This time he’s running as Bush.

Dr. Evil Squared

Dr. Evil Squared

See that, we’re obviously all bothered by the resemblance because while trolling for piks, I found that someone had photo shopped a Bush-McCain mini-me. Perfect for this post but otherwise, a sad state of affairs.In an article titled “Want more Bush? Elect McCain” Helen Thomas wrote

“Sen. John McCain is moving to the right. McCain also has gone out of his way to cozy up to President Bush after their bitter rift in the 2000 presidential campaign. McCain is a strong supporter of the invasion and occupation of Iraq and believes the number of U.S. troops there should be beefed up. He is against abortion rights and gun-control laws and believes students should be taught the religion-oriented “intelligent design” theory of creation as well as the theory of scientific evolution. With his “hail fellow well met” persona and tendency to jaw with the media and pundits in the back of the campaign bus, he has created the impression in some quarters that he is a “moderate.” Forget it. His voting record speaks for itself.”

America loves mythos. McCain’s “Maverick” moderate POW good-soldier-hero white-man thang is something we wanna to hang onto. Some of us just can’t give up the ghost. Meanwhile, McCain slipped into Bush’s shadow with surprising ease. The gap between the mythos of McCain and the political reality is ever widening. After McCain cancelled his appearance on The Late Show, Letterman said, “This is not the John McCain I know, by God. This doesn’t smell right. This is not the way a tested hero behaves. A hero. An honest to God hero, an American hero, maybe the only actual hero that I know. I’ve met the guy, I know the guy. So I’m more than a little disappointed by this behavior. ‘We’re suspending the campaign.’  Are we suspending the campaign because there’s an economic crisis or because the polls are sliding.” Like Letterman, Margaret Cho gave voice to McCain’s mythos and the ways that we struggle to hold on to it. Cho blogged, “I am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of every one saying – ‘He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier. Um yeah. He was captured. So he was not that good.” The facade is crumbling. If McCain doesn’t honor who he used to be (or claims to be) then why should we?

In an amazing beautifully written Salon article titled “John McCain is George Bush” Jaun Cole wrote,

“In July of 2004, Bush abruptly announced that he was looking into whether Iran played a role in the Sept. 11 attacks on the U.S.  The whole fantastic set of allegations was immediately denied by Bush’s own intelligence officials. Hawkishness toward Iran was one way for Bush to take the focus off his failures in Iraq. Bush by his belligerence appealed to a combination of evangelical holy warriors and so-called national-security conservatives, and McCain seems poised to move in the same direction. Echoing Bush’s fear-mongering about the Islamic world, which by August 2006, two years after his reelection, regularly included references to so-called Islamic fascism, McCain maintains that the “transcendent” challenge facing the United States in 2008 is “radical Islamic extremism.” McCain alleges that “al-Qaida in Iraq” will “follow us home” if the U.S. withdraws from that country. McCain takes this line even though most Muslim countries are close allies of the United States and Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaida has been revealed to be a small fringe, now in disarray. McCain himself has joked about bombing Iran, to the tune of an old Beach Boys song.”

Remember that? Are you down with that? Do you want that in The White House? Do we want McCain’s insensitive, impulsive, petty finger on the button. Bush’s war has been a catastrophe. We can’t afford another war-monger. Especially one who, by his own admission, has always aspired to be a dictator and who thinks we should occupy Irag for the next 100 years.

Bush’s signature project has been the war in Iraq, which he has managed like a veteran Las Vegas magician, with a misdirection and legerdemain that can make a whole elephant disappear. Despite nearly 4,000 U.S. soldiers killed, 30,000 wounded, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis killed, millions displaced internally and abroad, the creation of a new and serious terrorism problem, high fuel costs at home, and the entire lack of any obvious benefit from the whole endeavor to the American people, more than 40 percent of Americans now say the U.S. is making progress in establishing civil order in that country. McCain went to the same David Coppersmith School of Prestidigitation as Bush. He says he is dedicated to nothing less than complete military victory in Iraq and the maintenance of bases in that country for as much as a century, and his audiences do not appear to break out in derisive laughter. (Juan Cole)

Ha ha he he ha ha heeee ha ha hee hee ho ho. he he he. Snort. snort. Sob sob sob. boo boo hoo. boo! boo!

Surely lack of health insurance for tens of millions, loss of good jobs, blighted cities like Detroit and New Orleans, and erosion of key civil liberties are a more “transcendent challenge” than the activities of small cultlike groups that are finding it harder and harder to operate on the soil of Middle Eastern and European allies of the U.S. But that’s not to say that McCain isn’t pushing a domestic agenda as well. McCain does have a domestic agenda. It’s George Bush’s. If he is elected, it will be “Groundhog Day,” the Bill Murray film about a character doomed to live through the same day over and over again. (Juan Cole)

Nooooooo! I hated that movie! I hated that President! I’m with Homer Simpson — it is time for a change, Homey.

Holy Suffering, BushMan!

Holy Suffering, BushMan!

Can you and your friends tell the difference between George Bush and John McCain? Take the Bush-McCain challenge!

(Ala)Skin Flick: Larry Flint to Make a Palin Porn

Posted in Feminism (Shades of Gray), I like big butts & I can not lie, politics, Porn Stars are Peeple too, Psyche & Sexuality, Rock & Roll, Sex & XXX with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Yet another craning look up Sarah Palin’s (mini)skirt*….

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin, since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

"No one's been mocked more than Sarah Palin since Jesus Christ hit the earth." -- Austin's own, Kinky Friedman

Larry Flint is looking to tap (giggety) America’s indecent interest in the Repub VP Nom. Flint’s famously x-rated mind has hand-picked (giggety) a Palin look-a-like to star in his political project.

Flint better get this out out ASAP

Flint better get this sucker out out ASAP

      Larry Flint has fought hard for his rights and sacrificed hugely which has made him an unlikely American hero. Like it or leave it, Flint is definitely a freedom loving freedom fighting American. Maybe you wish he had less freedom but I hope not because that would make you less American than Mr. Flint.
      In College, when devouring Women’s Studies classes, I wrestled with my views on porn. I asked myself “Did I hate Larry Flint?” so I learned more about him. Eventually, as my freedom affords, I made up my own mind on the issue. Porn just isn’t my thing aesthetically. I like a few pounds and a few pubes on a woman and the men….well, a beautiful member doesn’t make for a beautiful man. Now a dirty cartoon complete with sound effects & ample bouncy booty, that’s more like it. I’m too playful and cerebral to enjoy mainstream porn. I’m more of a Tinto Brass kinda girl. (The bicycle scene in Frivolous Lola is some juicy delish!)
      Still I kinda love Larry Flint.
      I admire his voice if not his vision.
      I choose pervy Larry over the hatred that left him paralyzed. I’d rather spend a tropical vacation with Flint than with the a-hole who shot him. He’s more my kinda people. I’ll take a tenacious kinkster over a violent hater every damn time.
      As for the argument that porn is violence against women, I just refuse. I don’t think we should be making any excuses for violent offenders. Violence is a choice. When a rapist rapes, the only person who is robbed of choice is his victim. I don’t give a damn if my man subscribes to Playboy or if Flint publishes Hustler but rapists are scum whose issues run much deeper than their jack-stash. If you think I’m “part of the patriarchy” for having my own opinion then maybe you need a jack-stash of your own. I recommend Tinto Brass. (Especially if you’re an ass-man. Or booty-lady, either way, if you love the bum rent some Brass.)
No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

No wonder Palin has "energized the Republicans"*

      As usual, Larry Flint has his finger on the pulse-pulse of America’s privates. We’re obviously quite titillated by this stranger they call Sarah Palin. In Chicago, a painter hung a nude portrait of Palin in a pub and folks flocked in for icy mugs of brewsky and a lil’ look-see. (I posted a piece about the artist Bruce Everett and his nudie gun-toting Palin yesterday and it beat out one on McCain’s desires to be a dictator. Scary.) So don’t blame Flint, blame yer grand-dad or your uncle or yourself. We’re Americans! We reserve the right to sexualize our VP nominees. (So far Margaret Cho’s done it best.)
      We do it because we don’t know what else to do with her. Sarah Palin is an unqualified nobody who stumbles over the simplest of policy questions. (As I write this, Katie Couric is on the CBS news saying “The polls show that Governor Palin is declining in her ability to understand complex issues.”)  Sarah Palin has nothing to say so our minds wander and our eyes stray… we wonder “Hmm, hows’zer rack?”  What else are we supposed to do with a dumb as rocks beauty queen turned PTA mom turned mayor of nowhere who wants to strip us of our rights?
      Palin wants to strip us of our rights, so we wanna strip Palin of her clothes.
She's perty...
      If the Repubs didn’t want us to objectify Sarah Palin they should’ve nominated someone who brought more than pretty to the podium. Alas. I blame that old horndog McCain. He started it! Someone brought him a stack of files and he picked the one with the hottest photo. It was an easy choice for the man with a lifesize Barbie. McCain’s Missus even moves like a Barbie doll. I suspect he used his military clearance to put a perfectly-coiffed plastic Barbie into a top-secret machine and then pressed the button that said “Big.”
      Fortunately for Flint, porn can be shot in an afternoon. It shouldn’t be too hard to hustle up some red stripper heels, a polar bear pelt, a loaded rifle and a moose who shits himself. Tell the “actress” to swing by Lenscrafters on her way.  It should be shot-shipped-&-edited by Friday.  Just in time for a Saturday’s bored & bothered self love session. Flint will act quick. He’ll have to. Palin’s 15 minutes are almost up. GULP. I hope.
      For the sake of alphabetfiend, I’ll watch it but I REFUSE to enjoy it. Sure, I’ll laugh my ass off but that’s ALL my ass is getting. Unless we pop in a little Tinto Brass afterwards, y’know, cause it’s Saturday and we’re bored. Here at the Dollhouse, we’re more psyched to see Homer vote for Obama.  The Simpsons’ episode won’t air until November 2 but the Palin porn may be at yer door this Saturday morn. Enjoy!
Palin was mentioned to capture the feminist vote but got the "giggety" vote instead.

Palin was meant to capture the feminist vote but got the "Giggety" vote

*Aside from the shoulders up b&w photo the rest of these Palin piks are obviously doctored; in fairness & feminism, check out the Palin Sexism Watch.
*As Katie Couric said on CBS news.

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

Cho Eating Crap for Wanting to Eat Palin

Posted in Art & Culture, I Heart Funny Femmes, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Cho has been a long-time warrior for gay & gender rights

Cho has been a long-time warrior for gay & gender rights

When I read Margaret Cho’s blog “I Wanna Steam Up Those Glasses,” I laughed my ass off!  I called my RobotBoy into the room and read it aloud like it was foreplay and then HE laughed his ass off.  Maybe YOU will laugh your ass off but be warned — if you start to snicker and spit out your milk, well SHAME ON YOU b/c that makes you part of the patriarchy.  Cho thinks of herself as a feminist and so do I but apparently we are both wrong because it is (all kinda yummy) wrong to want Palin to relax her rigid thighs (and views) a little and it is wrong to laugh at the mere REDONKULOUS idea of it.  Arg!  This really burns me up — and not in a good way.  Palin made rape victims pay for their own rape kits but my sweet giggle is tyranny?  Palin’s positions on women’s rights are so scarily appalling that one wonders if she is even a woman at all…  so maybe some of us, like Cho, want to picture her in a different position entirely and who can blame us?  Though, Cho’s on her own as far as giving Palin sexual favors.  Me, I just like to watch.

I’ve been a Cho fan forever and I will never be a fan of Palin’s so maybe I’m biased, maybe my good taste and good sense has me skewed on this issue.  I only know that I trust one more than I trust the other.  Cho isn’t qualified to be vice-president or else I’d vote for her.  Cho for VP!  Well, why not?  Palin isn’t qualified either.  But imagine the insanity of asking a rape victim to pony up some dough so that their insides can be swabbed in the the hopes of justice?  Now imagine that the sperm she never asked for has taken root in her insides and the same dumb bitch who asked her to pay for her rape kit is telling her she has to keep those seeds of violence inside of her?  The RobotBoy asked me if I’d ever choose to keep the child of rape and I said, “I dunno, maybe…” and then he rolled his eyes like he didn’t believe me.  I turned 34 in June so maybe my clock is starting to tick and also I’m one to look for that silver lining, maybe I’d want to see if some good could come of it but then I have never been raped so who am I to say?  More likely, I’d need to spend the year+ (plus plus)  after the attack just trying to sleep through the night without nightmares.  I’d probably be pretty pissed when the rapist’s spawn woke me up with its hollering. It would probably be all I could do just to find a little spot of safe so I doubt I’d be up to providing a little one with the motherly safety it needed to overcome its genetic ick.  The RobotBoy and I have had this nature/nurture argument before and he rolls his eyes b/c he can’t get past the genetics issue…. which would be a valid worry… I argue nurture but would I risk the nature?  That’s a hell of a gamble.  I have to wonder “Has Palin even walked her mind through this?”  Well,  I bet Margaret Cho has.

Cho for VP! Viva Cho!

Anyways, here’s what Cho said that got the panties of some all atwist.  Personally, I think you’re in for a treat, but maybe you’ll be as appalled as I was at Palin charging for rape kits.  Either way, as a woman, as a feminist, I reserve the right to laugh my (well)tapped ass off!

I wanna steam up those glasses  ( a blog by Margaret Cho)

I am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of every one saying – “He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier.”

Um yeah. He was captured.

So he was not that good.

And now with Sarah Palin at his side, they have actually become the worst ticket imaginable. The only way it could be worse would be if Satan were running with Chuck Norris as his VP. Actually, Lucifer-Norris sounds better than McCain-Palin.

But even though I would never, ever vote for Palin, I am kind of obsessed with fucking her. She is sexy and hot in a MILF/Cougar way. Like you could have that real mature, straight to the point, adult, over forty, gonna cum multiple times with a big, oversize t-shirt on and nothing else and “I don’t care what I look like cuz I am gonna bust nuts in your curl” kind of fucking with her. I want to steam up those glasses and show her what a pitbull with lipstick really needs – doggy style!

Seriously – I wanna eat her Alaskan pussy from behind. Like an Eskimo. What?! I’m just trying to keep warm!

Although you know that thing is frozen and my tongue would probably stick.

 

To  see what Cho has to say about the above, go to her blog:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30965431&blogID=435388279

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

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