Archive for Obama for Prez

The Mrs. Butterworth Book Club

Posted in Alphabetfiend, Art & Culture, Art Lover, Books & Writing, Cinema & Filmmaking, Goof & Glamour, I Heart Funny Fellas, I Heart My Love-Tribe, In Celebration of the Absurd, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 3, 2010 by alphabetfiend

“I’m one of the few who voted for Obama because he was a friend of Bill Ayers.” -JW    

I too am one of those few.    

 

     

My freaky filmmaker friend, Tim, and I recently started a two-person book club. We dubbed it “The Mrs. Butterworth Book Club,” after a surreal conversation we had in highschool in which Tim asked me, out of nowhere, “What would you do if you woke up and Mrs. Butterworth was at your bedside? She’d have to be on yer pillow cause she’s rather short.”    

I’ve always had a soft spot for the absurd and so I have a soft spot for Tim.    

“I didn’t have to worry about fitting in with a crowd I didn’t want to hang out with in the first place.” -JW    

 

Both fans of John Waters, we chose his new book “Role Models” as our first MBBC selection. “Role Models” — the latest of several memoirs by the filmmaker, writer and professional outcast — focuses on people who have inspired or influenced Waters. The book begins with >surprise!surprise!< Johnny Mathis then moves on to reformed Manson Girl Leslie Van Houten; later comes Commes des Garcons designer/deconstructionist Rei Kawakubo who crashes into various hillbilly heroes from Baltimore such as Ester the barmaid and Lady Zorro the lesbian stripper.    

    

“Nothing is more impotent than un unread library”   

John Waters writes about reading the way a junky waxes poetic over crack.  

I’ve just finished the chapter “Book Worm.” Love love! Waters is a notorious and obsessive bibliophile, owning nearly 9000 volumes of wordy goodness.I can’t wait until he writes a whole book like that chapter, where he’ll delve into one weirdo tome after another. That would be a fantastic book! Waters has smart, obscure taste in literature and continually surprises me with his thoughtful insights.    

The chapter on Little Richard is next. I can’t wait.    

I saw Little Richard not too long ago. It was a free show, just a few blocks from my house, in the U of TX quad, so we meandered over.    

   

I’ve seen many old greats and I’ve learned not to expect too much. I saw Hasil Adkins at The Continental Club, paid a penny too, he played maybe two longs and left the stage. I’ve seen Ramblin’ Jack where he’s talked all night tellin’ one great story after another but there was one raspy time where he sang a song, coughed, sang another song, coughed and took a bow. I think it was James Chance that left the stage in a hissy fit like he waz Fred Alan Wolf at a physics conference. (Wolf’s hissy fit worked out well for me. I chased him out and we chatted all afternoon. He set up his laptop in the shadows of a patio umbrella and semi-patiently explained to me his theory of the thalmus gland as rudimentary time machine. I Heart Fred Allan Wolf!)    

Little Richard did not disappoint.      

Little Richard glittered like an LSD rockstar. The old man rocker took that place down to the ground. Holy hell! I fuckin’ cried. Yep. I wept as Little Richard sent spasming waves of energy through a crowd of cheap, clueless college students.  Seeing Little Richard that soft summer evening was a spiritual thing. I had my own Little Richard religious experience.      

"Saint Richard" by Vicki Berndt

So far the Mrs. Butterworth Book Club mostly consists of gushing to one another on facebook about just how fucking great Role Models is and how much we love John Waters as a way of life, posting killer quotes as our status updates and generally annoying the rest of our facebook friends.    

Screw those less-enlightened folks whose only knowledge of John Waters is “he has something to do with that fat drag queen who ate dog shit in some movie that no one’s ever seen.” If that.     

Makes me wanna scream, “Divine ate the dog shit! The film was Pink Flamingos! John Waters was the director! Fuckface!”    

I’d throw in that fuckface at the end, just for extra measure, like the cherry on top of the sundae or the pretty that flatters please.    

No, I kid. Really. So what if they’re morons who wanna wait (who CAN wait) until Role Models comes out in paperback. Whaddo I care? I don’t, cause I kid, but it is funny how things have changed and yet stayed the same. Tim and I hung with different crowds in highschool. We might never have spoken if our inner freaks hadn’t had such magnetic pull and now, all grown up, I have so much more to say to Tim than to the gorgeous girls I once hung with (who are now smiling mothers posting owen mills portraits all over their facebook pages, with not one free moment to read and if they read they certainly wouldn’t read Waters’ odes to Manson girls, trannie derelicts or Johnny Mathis.)     

   

The Mrs. Butterworth Book Club has only two members but that’s more out of necessity than design, being that no one else has expressed an iota of interest.    

That’s fine with us, right, Tim? All the more dog shit for us!    

Today I went to type out a few sentences on Tim’s fb page and try as I might it wouldn’t post. Old school friends were im-ing me and I was losing patience in fine Luddite fashion. The pups were barking to announce guests and the Robot was calling from the other room. Frazzled, I copied my note to Tim and stuck it into my open wordpress window under quick-post for safekeeping….which has me thinking….hmmm. I was gonna review the book for y’all anyway so why not post my thoughts here and then send the links to Tim? Maybe some of you are reading Role Models too and wanna pipe in? Maybe Tim and I can convince you to read Role Models? Even if you’re not reading the book, please join the discussion and tell us about some of your own role models, heroes & muses. What about an infuriatingly brilliant nemesis…anyone got one of those? (I sure do. Don’t I, Sugarbear?) 

Waters sez "Read this"

If you’d like to join our very informal Mrs. Butterworth Book Club, we’d be glad to take on new members with a taste for the odd in literature and in life. We’re keepin’ it simple. See!  Here’s my fb note to Tim:    

Hey Tim! Checkin’ in to the Mrs. Buttersworth Book Club… am just about to start the Little Richard chapter on p.183, had a houseguest for a couple weeks and fell behind.    

All that stuff about the Manson’s O-MY! I never knew they’d sneak into houses and move the furniture. So trickster, I love it, but stabbing someone 16 times? Nah, not for me.    

All the Baltimore stuff in the bar chapter was a riot. I have some these “artsy hillbilly” friends from Baltimore and they tell the craziest stories ever. Plus I loved The Wire and Homicide, both set in Baltimore. Homicide was brilliantly cast by Pat Moran, whom Waters mentions repeatedly as “My friend, Pat Moran”.    

That stuff about lunatic mothers and the craziness those kids grew up with? I found all that to be just waaaay too familiar. Great reading tho. Great writing!    

 Finally, while I consider myself to be a big reader, life-long, I must confess to not having read even one of his five recommendations. Have you? Guess we know what we’ll read next in the MBBC, huh? Which one do you suggest? The pervy kid or the deluded ladies? Or pages and pages of dialogue? I’m up for any and all!    

I’m not a huge fanatic as far as his films go but as a man, as a mind, John Waters is thrilling.    

He’s also a hell of a writer and a real storyteller.    

This book has been a treat. I’m loving it. I’m devouring it.     

“Tennessee Williams wasn’t a gay cliché, so I had the confidence to try to not be one myself. Gay was not enough. It was a good start however.”    

 ** The Saint Richard painting is by Water’s soul-sista Vicki Berndt whom we’ve featured before on Cream Scene Carnival. Role Models is available at amazon and so is the Waters pick: In Youth is Pleasure by Denton Welch, with a forward by William Burroughs.    

Black Man In the White House! Finally.

Posted in politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by alphabetfiend

I’m bouncing around the room!

I’m tearing up every five minutes.

It feels so damn good to see those barriers blown to bits.

barack-obama-bw

This is how change happens.

This is the world doing the right thing. It’s a human rights issue and it’s huge and beautiful and glorious and about damn time.

McCain & Palin Hawk the GOP on QVC (SNL Nov 1)

Posted in politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2008 by alphabetfiend

McCain wasn’t half bad on SNL (unlike Palin who was completely useless.) It’s just so close to election day and I’m so ready for it to be over. I’m so ready for a little Chocolate-Change in the White House. I’m ready for Tina Fey to be Tina Fey. And for Sarah Palin to hurry up and go away.

Fey deserves the fanfare from her wicked Palin imitation.

Fey deserves the fanfare from her wicked Palin imitation.

I did wonder though what must’ve been going through McCain’s mind when — in the skit — Sarah Palin, played by Fey, snuck off to sell herself in secret. How wierd for him to see that truth and just have to laugh through it. For some laughs of your own, see the QVC skit for yourself.

VOTE FOR OBAMA!!!!

Oh and if Tina Fey asks you for favors, sexual or otherwise, PONY UP. It’s the least we could do for that smart sexy bitch. If she wants to put a saddle on your back and ride you around the room, get on all fours and bray like a buckin’ bronco.

Michelle Obama’s Nutter Phonecall: An Obvious Hoax

Posted in politics with tags , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Despite its prominent place on the wordpress dash today, the story about Michelle Obama phoning API is a FAKE. It certainly sounded fishy with Michelle referring to un-named “evil” people who want to keep the black man down. Duh. It’s a right-wing hoax and they even signed it (repeatedly) with their favorite word. EVIL. Right-wingers love EVIL. They love to pepper their sentences with EVIL. Yes, I read it and it was that oft-used right wing word that tipped me off.

But just on the very bizarre off chance that Michelle Obama had become a nutter, I forwarded the post to the RobotBoy with the subject “Wierdness on WP dash this AM.” He is the political fiend in our pairing so I turn to him in times of wanton uncertainty. He wrote back: “Sounds like bullshit, haven’t seen any other mention of this story.” Later he forwarded me an article from Huffington Post (“Here’s the deal”) that said the fake phone call had the blogosphere (that’s us) fascinated. Arg. Fascinated? Shoot me now. Huff Post summed up the hoax thusly:

The article, from an organization calling itself “African Press International,” claims to have gotten a phone call from an irate Michelle Obama, in which she railed at the outlet for “spread[ing] rumours created by American bloggers and other racist media outlets in their efforts to damage a black man’s name,” and “evil people who are out to stop her husband from getting the presidency.” The fake Michelle Obama insists that her husband “loves his country” and promises the organization favorable treatment if they “write a good story about her husband.”

So no, Michelle Obama is not nutter. Byron York (The Corner) had to point that out to those rabid right-wingers because the word “evil” works them up into a vortex of lunacy. They foam at the mouth and spew crazy-talk. Logic holds no sway. Silly Rabbits! Trix are for kids! (or foxy tricksters.) Don’t they know that we aren’t as focused on EVIL as they are?

Naturally, a mere contemplation of the obvious should have short-circuited the belief that this interview was real, thus sparing York from having to point it out. The Obama campaign has been, throughout the season, notoriously disciplined and highly aloof from the press. Michelle Obama… wouldn’t be calling up random bloggers to yell at them. If she did, she’d be doing that all the damned time! Beyond that, there were obvious signs that the interview, and the organization, is fakety-fake McFake. For example: there are two “r’s” in “Farrakhan.” “Inauguration” is not spelled “innoguration.” And you’d think that a writer for “African Press International” would be clear on the concept of capitalizing one’s own publication’s name. Nevertheless, these obvious signs proved too elusive for some people, hence Byron York’s involvement.

Whew! Glad that’s over! Oh wait, they’re going to keep insisting and believing it’s real. You know they will!  Which is gonna be so so so annoying.

For a good laugh go see this great short read at a fellow bloggers page. So funny it hurts.

Hank Hill Votes for Obama!

Posted in I Heart Funny Femmes, politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2008 by alphabetfiend
Hank Hill is not amused by the dumbass-ery of the Republican ticket. Both the ever-logical Mr. Hill and his dog-duchess Ladybird are voting for Obama. It’s a smart move considering his son’s penchant for show tunes & drag. Yes, Bobby likes girls, yes, and he and Connie were “goin’ together.”  As a hag, I know a little about fags and their love-hate relationship with the ladies. As a lady whose gent is a real-life grown up Bobby Hill, I can also forsee a future for Bobby as a bonafide ladie’s man. Either way, it’s all good.
1203-1.png picture by plushied
To be safe, Hank & Peggy best say no to Palin. The Veep nom is not what you’d call “gay-friendly.”  Sure, she “tolerates” gays with all her heart while viewing them as an evil mutation that deserves the AIDS and the dark-alley beatings and whatever else might befall them before they meet their due deaths and are sent straight to hell. The Hills still believe in the American Dream and they want that for Bobby, who is their first born son and only child thanks to Hank’s narrow urethra. Bobby’s questionable sexuality wasn’t part of that dream back when the Hills were first dreaming and sure, they struggle. After all, who wants their child’s future to include those back-alley beatings or the disdain of piggish haters like Palin who want to keep them legally less-than. Yup. Who indeed?  
 
Hank4Obama-1-1.jpg picture by plushied

Sadly, the similarities between The McCain-Palin ticket and the animated Hill family are more than skin deep:

  • Peggy’s a (substitute) Spanish teacher whose Spanish is barely passable, but don’t tell her that! Peggy thinks she’s “mooey prolifico in talkito el Spaniard.” Sigh. All you teachers, your reward is in heaven. Peggy loves to play Boggle and the blame game. Peggy knows all about grrl-power and nothing about feminism. Peggy thinks if you can run your household, you can run the world. Peggy’s glasses suit her.
  • Cotton’s a rageaholic war monger. Cotton’s “cut off at the knees” and is proud to be an emotional cripple who barely knows his children. Cotton’s an abusive tyrant who thinks his military service excuses any and all bad behavior. Cotton’s led a long life of hard livin’ and when he dies, his legacy will be left in the hands of his unworldly concubine cum redneck youngin’. Cotton can’t get past what his enemies did to him during his vaunted military service. Cotton lacks class. He’s a sexist, violent ego-maniac whose old war stories are really getting old.

There are a few differences:

  • Peggy Hill may “tolerate” the gays now but that will change the minute Bobby Hill comes out of the closet, if not before. Peggy accepts Bobby as he is. If her son is gay, then Peggy will say that “gay’s the way to be.” I tell you whut. Even Hank, hard as he fights it, would accept his son and by proxy his son’s hubby. I spy Hank & Peggy — future members of PFLAG!
  • Cotton did not crash — is it 5 or 7?–  planes and then get himself captured. Cotton would never be captured. Cotton’s not a coward, but he is a lunatic. Good luck capturing Cotton. (In actuality, Cotton is even less alive then McCain and not just because he’s make-believe.)

No wonder Larry Flint cast Peggy as porn-star Palin in his latest political project Nailin Pailin!  And of course Cotton Hill starred as John McCain! An obvious choice. But poor poor Hank.  The things Hank saw while a tool-fluffer on Flint’s film! Now that’s XXX wrong. Argh! Burns the eyeballs! As if Hank weren’t already soured on the McCain-Palin ticket!

So Hank is voting for Obama. And Homer’s voting Obama too. Toons for Truth!

What’s funny in Arlen is not so funny in Washington.

What’s not funny in Washington is even less funny in my hometown and yours.

What happens in Washington does not STAY in Washington. Instead it “trickles down” (yea right) and leaves us damp and moldy. It makes like The Blob and oozes across state lines (bread lines?) Bubbles beneath door jambs, creeps into our homes. Bad decisions made by politicians become our problems. Make a list of your current ills and consider. Yup. I know. Bummer, isn’t it? Now think abroad, imagine the lists of others and how American politics has had a hand in that. Yup. Beyond bummer. Don’t let the 2008 election be your bad decision. 

Homer knows better, Hank knows better.

We know better.

Don’t we?

Sarah Silverman sez “Get Granny to Vote Obama!”

Posted in Fame & Celebrity, Hooray for Choice!, I Heart Funny Femmes, I Heart My Love-Tribe, politics, Republicans scare me with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Sarah Silverman’s The Great Shlep is pure Jews-for-Obama genius.

Vote for Obama, gonna visit Grandmama.

Vote for McCain, to me yer a shit stain.

-S.S. (Super Sarah!)

Sarah Silverman saves the world! One Jew at a time.

Sarah Silver is my hero!

Sarah Silver is my hero!

Silverman was on “Countdown with Kieth Olberman” last night talking about her new political project, ie, plan to save the planet from total destruction and fight the evil-est villians yet.

Silverman brilliantly launched the internet sensation The Great Schlep which she discussed with Olberman last night, in addition to the usual crass naughtiness.

In The Great Schlep Silverman hilariously urges young Jews to visit their Grandparents in Florida (or wherever their elders may gather) to conduct intimate campaigns — poolside, over matzo balls, during television commercials. Wherever you can fit Obama in. Silverman suggests you sock ’em right in the heart! Don’t hesitate to use their love for you as a chance to sweet talk them into voting for Obama. Don’t pass up the opportunity to capitalize on their gratitude and joy at seeing your loving face. Sieze the chance to clear up some of the misconceptions they might have about the canidate with the odd sounding name. Hug them tightly, coo into their furry ears if you must. Alleviate their fears.

Spend quality time with your old people while increasing the quantity of democrat votes. Now that’s a win-win if there ever was!

 In fact, Jew or not, we should all be visiting to our Nanas or Poppys.

Haven’t you been meaning to see more of Mamaw anyway?

Homer Simpson Votes for Obama! (w/video)

Posted in Art & Culture, politics, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by alphabetfiend

Homer Simpson thinks it’s time for a change.

Grampa Simpson still likes Ike.

Even Homer is Ready to Move Outta the Dark Ages
Even Homer is Ready to Move Outta the Dark Ages

Despite Sarah Palin’s claim to be Miss Joe Six Pack, Homer Simpson is an Obama man. In leaked footed from an episode to air on November 2, Homer votes for Obama (or tries to) but the voting machine repeatedly changes his vote to McCain. When Homer cries in outrage, the machine eats him, drains his lifeblood and spits him out. An “I Voted” sticker is then plastered on his dome.

The Democratic Process ain’t what it used to be.  But then we already knew that.

Still, it’s great to see Matt Groening and Homer at least TRY to have their say.

I only hope that other beer-chugging Homers can do the same come voting day which is to look past race or Sarah Palin’s jugs. (Yesterday I posted two pieces, one titled “McCain Confesses to Dictator Aspirations” which is scary scary scary and the other titled “Nudie Palin Hangs (all) Out in Dive Bar” — needless to say, one of those posts got substantially more hits than the other.)

I’m excited to watch this episode of the Simpsons which has become an “American Institution” since the family made their first appearance on The Tracey Ullman Show in spring of 1987.  I wonder if this Homer Votes episode is their Halloween show?  Most likely… which means it’s gonna be AWE-some.  

This post is dedicated to my friends Vince Cowan & Dwayne Lavigne. Homer voting for Obama is a fine thing indeed. Open up an icy can of Duff. Sho nuff. Vote for Homer! Dop! I mean Obama!

 

Alphabetfiend is Dia VanGunten — a writer & wanna-be circus freak living in Austin, Texas.

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